1.30.2015

4 Reasons Our Marriage Works [ + Book Giveaway]


One of the things I was most fearful about during my pregnancy was how Chuck and my relationship would be affected by this new presence in our life. Would we still make time for each other? Would we be able to parent together? Would we lack in intimacy? Obviously, we've only been at this parenting gig for a month now, so that fear still remains, but I've found in seasons of doubt and anxiety, it's always helpful for me to take inventory of our marriage. You probably guessed that I'm a big believer in counting your blessings, and Chuck is and always will be my biggest. These are just a couple of reasons why I think our marriage works and will continue to for years to come...


1. Laughter
My favorite piece of wedding advice we received was from my Grandma who passed away just a few months ago and was still wildly in love with her late husband. Her words to me were, "Find something every day to laugh about." I took her advice to heart and most days, this is one of the easiest pieces of advice to follow. Chuck and I never take things to seriously and are always finding ways to be goofy and make each other chuckle. However, on the days when laughter doesn't come as easy, I've found it's even more important to find something to smile about together. It's amazing how a good belly laugh can instantly thaw the chill of resentment or disappointment in our marriage.

2. Forgiveness
There are times when I really, really don't want to let go something that Chuck has done that has hurt me. The thing is, there is never an occasion when harboring resentment has worked productively in our relationship. Do I want Chuck to learn from his mistakes and strive toward self-betterment? Hell yeah. Will I continue to hold his transgressions against him after he has delivered a heartfelt apology? No way, Jose. This is something that obviously does not come naturally, but I am constantly striving to be intentional about. (I should probably note that I am not the only one doing the forgiving in the relationship.)

3. (Un)balance
Apparently, first-borns and last-borns make for a good pairing. As the oldest of two, I am definitely the control freak of the relationship. I care about making plans, sticking to commitments and effectively managing our time. As the youngest of five, Chuck is way more easygoing. He is all about living in the moment, putting family above all else and accommodating the wants and wishes of others. Does this sometimes lead to friction in our relationship? Just ask me that any time we try to leave the house and I am standing by the door impatiently waiting for my husband to do 1000 last-minute things. But it also creates balance. I think this will be especially important in the way we parent. I have no doubts that I will be more of the disciplinarian, where Chuck will be the "fun one." But it's important to have both- the person that will get the kids to school on-time and the parent who keeps things light-hearted and nourishes our kids' creativity and imagination.

4. Cheerleading
Every night, I don my high school cheer uniform and...just kidding. One of the things I really try to be intentional about is never speaking ill of my husband in public. Do I vent with my sister-in-law occasionally about the ridiculous traits that our husbands share? I'll let you answer that. But I've always found it very telling how married folk talk about their spouses when they are not around. If you're not your significant other's biggest cheerleader, who will be? There is a fine line between seeking marital advice from friends and family and airing your relationship's dirty laundry. 

All four of these reasons are things that Ashleigh Slater also describes in her book, Team Us: Marriage Together. In her book, Ashleigh talks about her decade-long marriage with her husband, Ted and the ways they've become "Team Us" since saying "I do." Ashleigh covers things like how to deal with conflict, making "communication sandwiches," and making it through those hellish years that all marriages inevitably face. Goodreads describes this book as,

"When a couple promises "I do," they agree to more than just a shared last name, a joint bank account, and no more dateless nights. This husband and wife duo forms a new team. "Life together" becomes their mantra. Nothing can come between them. At least, that's the plan.
But then real life sets in. With it come disappointments and frustrations. If the couple isn't intentional in their day-to-day interactions, that once enthusiastic "we" can slowly revert to "you" and "me." Before long, the couple's left wondering what happened to their team spirit.
Team Us: Marriage Together offers couples practical ways to cultivate and strengthen unity in their marriages. Author Ashleigh Slater shares from her own marriage as she presents couples with realistic ideas on how to foster cooperation, deepen commitment, and exercise grace on a daily basis."

Although, I could have done with a few less pop culture metaphors, I appreciated Ashleigh's openness about her marriage and the way in which she is able to make the reader feel like they are talking to an old friend about marriage advice. The respect that Ashleigh and Ted have for each other and their commitment to working through their marriage's little roadblocks is palpable and serves as an encouragement to those looking to strengthen their relationships.

Now only did I give this book 3 1/2 out of 5 stars, but today I'm giving away a copy to one lucky reader!

To grab a copy of Team Us: Marriage Together, just use the Rafflecopter widget below:


Winner will be announced Friday, February 6. Good luck!

Images courtesy of Byrd Photography and Goodreads.com

1.28.2015

I Became a Mom and Now I Can't Stop Crying


I have tried (and failed) on several occasions to bust out a blog post not remotely related to motherhood or my new baby. Yet, I am in the trenches and this has become my life. I have become an exhausted, overwhelmed, spit up-coated version of myself, so this post will be no different.

ScaryMommy.com posted this: You'll Totally Cry Over this Formula Commercial...Really and I took the bait. Sure enough, the message at the end of the short video hit home- as parents, we really will do anything for our kids. And I cried.

Immediately after watching said video, I peered into the huge, blue eyes of my baby boy, cozily snuggled up in my lap and I cried some more. I love this kid so much.

Granted, not all my cries have been heartfelt, warm-fuzzy cries. There has been many a guilt-fueled, sleep-deprived and frustrated tear in this house since Charlie arrived on the scene.

Follow me on Instagram.
You could probably blame the postpartum hormonal change. And I'm sure you would be right to an extent. But I believe the reason for my tears has more to do with the fact that like every Mom who has come before me and stated, having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body. If I wasn't emotional before (and believe me, I was), having this beautiful new life thrust into my hands in a scary, chaotic and miraculous world is sometimes overwhelming. Charlie now has my heart and there's nothing I can do about it. So now, I walk around vulnerable and fragile as this new little boy explores the world and grows into the man he is destined to be. And I am the person (with my Hubby, of course) who is going to direct his path.

I realize this is all stream-of-consciousness new Mommy babble, and if I was able to organize my thoughts into a more coherent fashion, believe me, I would. But I couldn't help remarking on my newly realized emotional state. This Mommy business is so crazy, but damn am I glad I get to experience it with my Charlie. 

1.26.2015

On Natural Birth (Would I Do it Again?)


If you haven't already, check out Charlie's Birth Story.

So now that Charlie's birth story is published for the world to see (and sparing no detail), I thought I would talk about my experience having a natural birth. For a lot of people, my labor and delivery experience might have sounded like a horror story. I mean, 24 hours of labor was no walk in the park, but the truth is, I have zero regrets about the ordeal. 

Before Chuck and I even got pregnant, I had watched The Business of Being Born and I had read several blogs about natural birthing. As someone who is somewhat cynical of our healthcare system here in the U.S. to begin with, natural birth seemed like something I definitely wanted to pursue down the road. My road just happened to be a lot shorter than I anticipated. I went in to my birth plans with the desire for little medical intervention and a birth that mirrored what I thought God intended for women. 

In hindsight, however, I came to realize that my intentions for pursuing a natural birth weren't quite as pure and holistic as I'd love for people to believe. I would love to sit here and pretend I'm Mother Earth, but if I'm being completely honest (especially with myself), I wanted a natural birth because I'm kind of a control freak.

Labor pains didn't scare me. 

Having an induction that caused unnaturally painful contractions that could potentially cause my baby distress? That scared me.

Having an epidural that prevented me from working through my contractions, or using my legs at all? That scared me.

Having an unnecessary c-section that had doctors pulling out my internal organs? That scared the bejeezus out of me.

I realize that babies have a tendency to do what they want and no one can plan how their birth will go down, but I wanted to have some semblance of control over my labor and delivery. And I certainly did not want to hand over control to someone else. All this being said, I was fortunate to have an almost 100% ideal delivery and felt totally in control of my body the entire time.

My midwife and nurses always consulted with me before intervening in any way. I was left alone to work through my labor pains how I was naturally inclined to and really only saw them when it was time to get my antibiotics and during the transition/pushing period. After Charlie was born, we were mostly left alone to bond with our baby, figure out breastfeeding and get to know one another. At no point did I feel powerless. Rather, I felt completely empowered by what my body was doing all on its own (with Chuck's help, of course) and I was so blessed to have a medical team who supported this.

I am not one to look down on anyone's choice of how they want to give birth. On the contrary, going through the extreme pain of labor made me 100% support any woman's decision. Unless, you've gone through that pain, no judgments allowed!

And speaking of the pain? Yes, it was pretty much as bad as everyone says. Contractions hurt. Crowning hurt
. Recovery hurt. But at no point during my laboring did I feel that what I was doing was impossible. At no point did I feel like the pain wasn't manageable. And today, I wear the fact that I went through that pain drug-free like a badge of honor.

When Charlie was born, I wish I could say that my immediate thought was, "Look at this darling angel baby whom we created," but it wasn't. Real talk? My very first thought after his squishy little body came flying out of me was, "I can't believe I just did that. I AM A BADASS."

All this aside, I'm now 4 weeks out and with the exception of some pesky hemorrhoids, my body has bounced back really quickly. Obviously, I think the fact that Charlie was a smaller baby definitely helped, but I also think being able to labor in the water helped tremendously in relaxing my lady bits and enabling my body to stretch easier. I walked away with one small tear and zero stitches, so I'm inclined to believe the birthing tub was a huge factor in my quick recovery. 

So to answer the question: would I do it again? 

Absolutely. 100%. YES.

1.23.2015

Bucket List Check-In 3.0


It's been awhile since I wrote an ol' bucket list check-in (see December 2011 and October 2012 check-ins) so I figured it was about time to see how I'm doing with these crazy life goals of mine. Here's what I've managed to cross off in the last 2+ years:

[12]
Run a 5k
Okay, so I didn't technically run a 5k, but I did run a Quarter Marathon back in May 2014 which I figure totally counts since it's over twice as long!

[28]
Have a Baby
Are you new here? If so, I had a baby. If not, sorry about all the baby talk (well, only kind of sorry).

[63]
Snuggle at a Drive-In movie
I posted here about our epic Fourth of July when we were still living in Pittsburgh back in 2013. I still consider it in my Top 5 favorite dates ever with my hubby.

[116]
Document my pregnancy
Again, if you're new here you can check out my "bumpdates" here. Otherwise, sorry again.

[118]
Take a birthing class
As a requirement to give birth at our birthing center, Chuck and I took a Natural Birthing Class in October. It was soo worth it and Chuck, especially, was so glad he went. It helped him feel so much more prepared and engaged in my pregnancy. I would highly recommend it!

[129]
Host a dinner party
Admittedly, our version of a dinner party involves no fancy tableware of any sort. But there was pizza, fun, and friends at our house, so it totally counts.

[150]
Participate in a reading challenge
Not only did I partake in Megan's summer reading challenge a few months back, but I'm currently in the midst of her Winter Reading Challenge. (Stay tuned for an update on my progress!)

> > >

Do you have a bucket list?
What are you hoping to cross off in 2015?




1.22.2015

Refreshed


Dear Charlie,

When I stepped into the shower with 4-day old unwashed hair, unshaven legs and a general aroma of sour breastmilk, I felt unpretty. I contemplated what your presence in our life would mean for my relationship with your Daddy. Would he still find me attractive? Would he still find me kind? As the hot water ran over my squishy, new mom body, I watched each worry run one-by-one down the shower drain and I felt refreshed.

At 6:00 am this morning, when you woke up yet again and your blood curdling cries stirred me from my sweet slumber, I thought about sleep deprivation. Would I ever get used to never feeling well-rested? You were fed, diapered and swaddled, but you continued crying. I groaned in frustration and shoved your pacifier in your mouth more forcefully than I should have until eventually you let sleep overcome you. I stumbled back into bed, grieving the loss of my childless life and all the sleep that accompanied it, while your Daddy, unbeknownst to me, coddled you for the next 5 hours and when I awoke at 11:30 am, I felt refreshed.


Yesterday, you didn't nap as well as you usually do. You were cranky and I didn't get nearly anything accomplished. Dishes sat dirty. Laundry undone. And my belly left empty. In all my efforts to make you comfortable and lull you to sleep, I made no time to eat. We rolled up to Nonnie and Papaw's house for family dinner. You were exhausted and unhappy. I was exhausted and hungry. Eventually, you settled down for a long nap and I proceeded to load up my plate with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans. I ravenously shoved my fork into my mouth, and bite-by-bite, I felt refreshed.

Seemingly, you have been the cause of so much of my need for refreshment. Life with you is exhausting, frustrating and definitely lacking in sleep. But then I think about how I felt while you were still in my tummy. My anxieties about being a terrible, unloving Mom made me perpetually sick. The room you took up in my belly made it difficult to breathe and caused a constant ache in my back. And then you were born and I was bewitched. I fell in love hard. There was no effort made to love you. You simply overcame me and I was helpless to fight it.

When I find myself fixated on my sleeplessness, hunger, or frustration, I need only look into your sweet face to be reminded of how much love you've brought to my life. How much you've grown my heart and blew open its capacity to love. I think about how happy you've made your Daddy and me, and I am refreshed.

Mommy


1.21.2015

Pregnancy Truths: Postpartum Edition


Go here for Round 1, Round 2 and Round 3 of my Pregnancy Truths.

> > >



Postpartum Truth #1
Your boobs will leak. So much.
I have been blessed with a baby who has breastfed like a champ since Day One, but there is honestly no way I could have prepared for the journey my boobs were about to take in breastfeeding. The day after we returned home from the hospital my milk came in and holy engorgement. I did not plan well and only had a couple breast pads on hand, so my boobs were super swollen and uncomfortable and I was leaking over everything. Thankfully, I was only engorged for about 24 hours, but I have since upped my supply of breast pads because as soon as I hear that baby cry, the floodgates open!

Postpartum Truth #2
You will be completely humiliated humbled by what your partner will do for you.
If I tried to count the ways in which Chuck has gone above and beyond the husband call of duty, I don't know that I would ever finish. After I gave birth, Chuck saw me at my most vulnerable. You know you married a good one when he helps you change your huge, granny pads in the hospital because you're in too much pain to do it yourself.

Postpartum Truth #3
You might have trouble enjoying your first days with baby.
On Day 2 of being home with my boys, I broke down in a hormone-fueled cry because I honestly was not enjoying my first days as Mommy. It seemed like everyone else got to enjoy the cute, fun parts of my baby and I got shafted. I was engorged, couldn't sit on my bottom and was up all night feeding my crying baby. It was tough, but it didn't last long. As I'm continuing to recover and Charlie and I continue to bond, every day with him is more of a blessing than the last.

Postpartum Truth #4
You will forget the pain of labor faster than you think.
It's been just about 4 weeks and I feel like I could totally do it all again. Granted, the recovery has been rough and it's taken me awhile to be able to stand for more than 30 minutes before my lady parts start throbbing and demanding that I lay down. The pain of childbirth was just about as bad as everyone says it is, however, I did it and I know now what my body can do and I feel like a warrior woman who can take on anything!

Postpartum Truth #5
You will be brought to tears by the mere thought of pooping.
Ugh, going #2 is not fun. I pop stool softeners and drink Metamucil on the regular (Apparently, after birth the change in your hormones = constipation. Who knew?), but when you're swollen and bruised down there, it's tough. 

Postpartum Truth #6
You will become a Mommy cliche.
I hate to say it because I am acknowledging that I am in fact, a huge cliche, but despite how un-fun postpartum recovery may be, it really isn't so bad when you get to spend your days gazing into the beautiful eyes of your little human. Baby snuggles 100% trump sore lady bits!

I mean, really. How can you resist this face?!

1.19.2015

Making Room for Baby | Allison @ Nestful of Love



Hi! I'm Allison...new mama to Aiden and blogger over at Nestful of Love. I'm so happy to be posting for Kaity today as she snuggles her little sweetie pie. As a brand new mom myself I thought I would share some tips with you for making room in your house for a new baby!


As you register for baby items you start to see how many things you will need for a new baby and how baby items can slowly infiltrate your home and not just the baby's nursery. You need something for the baby to sleep in, something for them to bounce in, something for them to swing in, something for them to take walks in...the list goes on and on. Babies slowly take over not only your hearts, but your homes as well. My family room is overtaken with our bouncer, swing, activity mat, boppy and burp cloths galore, but that is not the only room in your home that you need to make room for your baby.

Here are a few rooms in the house that I did not consider making room for a new baby and some tips on how you can be proactive in doing so...

YOUR BEDROOM// If your baby is going to sleep in your bedroom I would highly recommend getting some night lights for those late night feedings. The last thing you want when you are zombie walking at night is to bump into something. I would also recommend finding a place for a sound machine and always keeping some extra burp cloths and a pacifier at an arms reach.

KITCHEN//Clean out a drawer for feeding supplies. You will have to store bibs, bottles and eventually plates, cups and silverware for your little one.


If you are going to be breastfeeding clear out another drawer or cabinet to keep these supplies in. You'll be surprised how much room you need for your breast pump, parts, sanitizer, extra parts, milk storage bags, etc. Another part of your kitchen that requires extra room for baby is your refrigerator! As a working mom my I had to start pumping and storing breast milk meaning that I had to clean out my fridge and freezer to make room to store milk. #momproblems


BATHROOM// This is another room I did not think I needed to clear out for baby, but then you quickly realize the baby needs to be bathed and the baby has towels, bath toys, special shampoos and body wash, etc. Think about where you will store your infant tub if you have one, where you will keep your baby's towels, cleaning supplies, etc. I have a large tin bucket that I keep by the tub to store all the toys and cleaning supplies so it's easily accessible.

GARAGE// Before Aiden came along our garage was a hot mess. We did some major cleaning so that we would have a clear path to get the car seat in and out of the car without bumping into walls or random junk. You will also need a place to store your strollers, ours are currently in the garage so we also needed a place for these.

I hope these tips can help you either now or later as you make room for a baby in your life and your home! Thanks for letting me share today Kaity.

1.15.2015

Charlie's Birth Story: Part 3





> > >




After the midwife declared I was at 10 cms and ready to push, I pushed for about 15-20 minutes and made zero progress. Once again, my midwife asked me to lay back on Chuck again so she could check me and discovered I had a lip of cervix that was preventing the baby from moving down. She had me roll on my side and hold my right leg in the air and push while she held back the cervical lip. Because we were in the tub, within a dimly lit bathroom it was impossible for her to see what was happening so she asked me to move to the bed. There was literally nothing that sounded less appealing than leaving the prospect of my desired water birth to go labor on my back on the hard bed so like the warrior woman that I am, I whimpered and pleaded for them to let me stay in. Clearly, it was a battle that I did not win.

I was helped out of the tub and someone helped remove my sports bra and wrapped me in towels as I was shivering like crazy. I was laid on my back in the bed and Cat was able to hold back the lip as I pushed with all my might until Charlie finally passed through my cervix. It took about a half hour of pushing, holding the backs of my knees and thrusting my body forward to bring him down and if I'm being 100% honest here, I totally pooped. (I feel like this is the one big concern that all pregnant woman share, and I am here to say that yes, it did happen. There was nothing I could have done to stop it. And it was totally not that big of a deal- Chuck didn't even know until I told him.)

Once Charlie had descended, my midwife asked me if I wanted to finish pushing on the toilet. HALLELUJAH! Yes, anything to get off of my back on that damn bed. I moved to the toilet where I proceeded to push (what felt like a massive poop) until he began to crown. I could feel my lady bits getting stretched as the midwife told me I needed to get off the toilet to deliver my baby. Once again, completely rational laboring Kaity whimpered at the thought of getting off my sacred throne while two nurses grabbed me and guided me to my hands and knees on the bathroom floor. He was nearly there but the pain of pushing him out all the way was completely hampering my ability to do it in a timely manner. I gave one or two more half-hearted pushes through the next contraction while screaming, "IT HURTS!" until I had finally worked up the courage to finish the dang thing. (They don't call it the "ring of fire" for nothing). I knew the only way to get him out was to face the pain head on, so I took a deep breath, pushed as hard as I could and out popped his head...followed by the rest of him.

At 2:22 AM, Charlie was born and I couldn't believe his whole body had shot out so quickly. I didn't even see the midwife catch him until he was already safely in her arms. I heard his first cry and just muttered "Oh my god." I had just delivered a human. My human. From my body. And it was completely surreal. The midwife placed my gooey little newborn son in my arms and I had no idea how to hold him. I pathetically cried out that I didn't know how to hold a baby so they placed him in my arms and I just sat there staring at his wailing, red little face in complete disbelief.

Once my cord has stopped pulsating, the midwife clamped the cord and gave Chuck the responsibility of cutting it. I always thought the cord-cutting would be much more ceremonial, but Chuck was as equally stunned as I was and cut the cord almost apathetically as he tried to absorb what had just happened. I began to feel really shaky and weak, so they handed our little Baby Pep to his Daddy and proceeded to help me up and assist me back to the bed to deliver the placenta. I laid on the bed, shaking like I was having some kind of seizure, as the midwife encouraged me to push out the placenta. It was not a particularly difficult task, but felt much more taxing because I was officially done with this whole pushing nonsense. So after about 5 minutes of pushing, the placenta came out while Chuck stood by holding the wee one. My midwife inspected me and told me I had one small tear that didn't require stitches but she could give me one if I desired. I'm hoping you can guess how I responded to that. I was done with everything down there and passed on the stitch in hopes of lying down and passing out as soon as possible.

Our first picture as a family of 3.

The nurses helped me to sit up in bed and attempt to nurse my son for the first time. Although he latched right on and breastfed like a champ, I was less than excited about the fundal massages my nurses proceeded to give me to ensure my uterus was contracting and returning to its former size. Nor was I at all crazy about the fact that they were making me sit on my bottom- the same bottom I had just pushed a human being out of. So after about an hour of this, the nurses and midwife left us and we invited our parents and my sister in to meet our new addition. It was 3:30 AM and our families had literally been in the waiting room all day. Despite their excitement to see his sweet face, they didn't stick around long as all parties were effectively pooped and ready for bed. After the minor introduction, our loved ones departed and we discovered that in the midst of all the craziness of bonding with our Charlie, the nurses had not yet done all his stats, etc. so we had no idea how much he weighed. We invited them back in where they weighed and measured him at 6 lbs 7 oz and 20 inches long. They showed Chuck how to bathe and diaper him, administered his first shots and by 5:00 AM our little family of three was finally left alone to get some much-needed shut-eye.

> > >

Having a Baby: Expectation


Having a Baby: Reality





1.14.2015

Surviving the Last and First Months | Brittany @ G Squared



Hi! I'm Brittany and I blog over at G Squared. Most of my posts center around my baby, my home, the occasional recipe, what me and my husband are up to, and just other random happenings.

When Kaity asked me to write a pregnancy or new momma related guest post, my mind flooded with ideas. There is honestly so much to learn and prepare for when you find out your expecting your first baby. On the flip side, no matter what you do, what they say is true: nothing anyone says can prepare you for bringing that little one home! Believe me when I say I tried to be the most “prepared” mom on Earth. I read everything, took all the classes, and still was completely dazed and confused when we arrived home.

All that being said, I wanted to share some things about the last month of pregnancy and the first month postpartum that helped me make it through. Those are arguably the hardest two months of the whole shebang, so trust me when I say any tips you can remember from other moms are worth a try.

The last month of pregnancy

AKA the longest month known to mankind. I’m not a patient person, so I knew from day one this month would be difficult for me. The uncertainty, the anticipation, the discomfort, the thought that it could actually be LONGER than a month (for me it was… I was 6 days overdue). No matter what end of the spectrum you fall on, from anxious to excited, here are a few things that will help you get through the final weeks of pregnancy.


Do what makes you happy.

This is a little vague, but seriously, just do whatever you want. If you love work, and are physically and mentally able to continue working up until the day you deliver, do that. If your job is the last place you’d like to be and you have the time off saved? Take a week off and watch an entire season of a show you’ve always wanted to see. Eat junk food (within reason of course) all week. Walk miles in your neighborhood. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, do it.

Firstly, who knows when you’ll be able to do it again. Secondly, you more than likely want the time to go by fast, and time really does fly when you’re having fun. I could not WAIT to be done with work, so I was home for two weeks before my daughter was born. While it was awesome, I was also bored to tears the last few days. I wasn’t in any condition to be working, but I wish I would have planned more to do to keep myself busy. Maybe more visits with friends? Just use your last days wisely instead of fretting and driving yourself mad over when baby will come.

Speaking of when baby will come…



Prepare physically.

Sleep. For the love of good, sleep. If you can’t sleep (I couldn’t), lay down and rest. Do your nails. Walk. Bounce on a ball (not sure if this really preps you for labor, but it felt good on my 40 week pregnant back, so worth a shot). Get a haircut. Drink a ton of water. Prepare like you’re getting ready for the apocalypse. Because you basically are. While I was in labor for only 7 hours, had a dream recovery physically from said delivery, and had a ton of help the first weeks after Norah was born, I still felt like I’d been hit by a bus. I did all of the above and I’m SO glad I did. There is very little time for making yourself feel/look good after the baby comes, and even when there is, if you’re like me you will want to use it sleeping or snuggling your newborn.

Don’t get ahead of yourself.

Save receipts. For clothes and gifts. Don’t wash and remove tags from every single article of clothing. If you live in a climate with seasons, you may have no clue what the weather will be like when your little one is born. No matter where you live you don’t know what clothes will fit, or even what types of clothing you will want to put on your baby.


I thought I was so clever washing and organizing everything Norah wore weeks before she was born. Between seasons changing, her being smaller than I expected, and just my preference on what she wore, we ended up packing away dozens of outfits that were worn just one or even zero times. I wish I’d of held off and saved the receipts for those bad boys instead of having to go drop $100 dollars at Kohls a week postpartum because I wanted a million Carters long sleeved onesies.

You also have no clue if your baby’s skin will show an intolerance to certain bath products or diapers. That stuff isn’t cheap and can easily be exchanged for things you can use.

Pretty sure I gave birth just a few days after this pic!
Write everything down.

That awesome baby advice from the books you read? All the fun things you want to save from the hospital for the baby book? Who you want to thank for this or that from your final days as a pregnant person? Write it all down. If you think “Pregnancy Brain” is a B, wait until you experience “Mom Brain”.

The first month postpartum

This is such a mixed bag. Just like every baby is different, every labor and delivery and postpartum experience is different. What helped me may be completely irrelevant to the next Mom, but these are things that I think most new moms could benefit from knowing.

Think about the little things.

Think about them, but don’t obsess over them. Your baby will kind of lead the way of course, but I was so worried about the big things like what would we eat and who would take care of the dogs, that I forgot to think about the little things. I’m talking about where I’d keep the 75 items required for breastfeeding every 2 hours (pillow, water, burp cloth and/or bib, paper or phone app or tracking device). It was a nightmare piling all this onto my nightstand or dragging it all around the house, or worst of all- running around the house collecting it from various places with a baby screaming for food.

I also put NO thought into how our first nights would go. We spent the first week trying to have my husband or myself  being awake 24/7 in case the baby needed something. We are both people who need a lot of sleep (the good old days), so that was a rough plan. I was terrified to go to sleep in fear that she’d need something and I’d sleep through her cries. I think I was so scared because I never really thought about the logistics of how we’d live. You can only prep so much, but at least put some thought into this stuff so you’re not caught totally by surprise.



Know that you will be physically out of the game for a long time.

I’m young and in pretty good shape. I had dream labor and delivery. My body was still shot.

Our daughter spent a couple of days in the NICU. The third day of her life, I had to get out of that room for fear of losing my mind. I hadn’t seen the sun in 2 days. I walked down to the hospital cafeteria to get lunch, and it almost killed me. Not really killed me, but I did almost pass out multiple times on the walk back up to my room. You may think you feel ok, but you’re more than likely not. And if you DON’T feel ok, don’t even think about trying to do anything besides survive and feed your baby.

I wanted to appear strong after having our girl so people would let me go back to doing normal things instead of treating me like a victim. What a mistake. Because by the time it started to catch up to me, everyone already thought I was fine. Let people pamper you, help you, bring you food, whatever. Appreciate the help while it lasts and rest up as much as you can.

Be ready for breastfeeding to kick your butt.



Unless you are one of the luckiest people in the world, it will. It almost destroyed me honestly. I wrote this post detailing more of my experience if you're interested, and that isn't even the half of it. I am still feeding my daughter mostly breast milk 13 or so weeks in, but I don't think I would have made it this far without a pump, a husband who helps me stick to it, and the luxury of being a stay at home mom, so I can really put time into making it work. If you are dedicated to exclusively breastfeeding your baby, know that it is going to be tough physically and mentally. It's going to be time consuming. But it has proven to be worth the effort for us. I also just want to say that there is NOTHING wrong with formula feeding in my opinion, and if I wasn't so cheap, I might be walking that road myself.


I am more than happy to answer questions on anything related to pregnancy or postpartum, as I'm pretty much an open book, and you can email me at brittanygsquared@gmail.com. In my opinion, there is no better advice than a "real" mom's opinion. To anyone considering a baby, pregnant now, or who has recently had a baby- best of luck to you. It truly is the greatest thing of all time!

And that’s my two sense. Just know that regardless of what friends, family, books, or doctors tell you, there is no miracle answer. Do what feels right, and enjoy the life changing happiness that is becoming a mom! Feel free to visit my blog to read all about my pregnancy, birth story, and what we’ve been up to since little N made her debut.

1.12.2015

Newborn Must-Haves | LaNeshe @ Nesheaholic


I am a week away from having a 2-month-old! Time truly flies. At this point, I think I know what items were/are must-haves for us during these first almost two months.

Swaddle Sacks
Neither my husband nor I was ever able to swaddle baby as tight and snuggly as the nurses in the hospital could, and let me tell you, swaddling is essential! Babies don’t have complete control over their limbs yet, so their flailing arms can wake them up, and the last thing you want after you finally get a baby to sleep is for their arms to wake them up. My two favorites brands are the Summer Infant SwaddleMe and the Halo Sleepsacks.

White Noise Machine
Another thing many babies need for adequate sleeping is white noise. It’s actually loud in the womb, so they are used to sleeping in noisy conditions. I have the Munchkin white noise machine and projector and I LOVE it. It not only has a white noise function, but it also has lullabies, rain, heartbeat and ocean sounds. The projector function is just starting to come in handy as baby is just starting to see far enough to be able to see it on the ceiling. We have it over our changing table to try to distract her if she’s fussy during diaper changes. It also doubles as a night light.

Nursing Pillow
If you plan to breastfeed a nursing pillow will definitely come in handy. It was super helpful in the early days as I was trying to figure out what positions worked best for baby and I. I opted for the Brestfriend. Nursing pillows provide a nice support for baby, and help you get comfortable while nursing because you can rest your arms on the pillow.

Breast Pads
Also in the category of breastfeeding, breast pads are essential. You will leak. Almost two months in and I still have to wear pads almost always. I’ve only had one embarrassing public leaking experience in Kmart when I forgot to put on a pair lol. I use the Lansinoh brand and they absorb well and don’t show too much through your clothing.

What were MUST-HAVES for your during your first month with baby?

> > >

Thanks, LaNeshe! Be sure to visit her at Nesheaholic and congratulate her on new baby girl, Sage.

1.09.2015

Charlie's Birth Story: Part 2



> > >



After the midwife suggested I lie down for some rest, I was all too eager to try and nap since I had only gotten 2 hours of sleep that night. I laid down for a short while, then promptly gave up when I realized my contractions were getting much too strong to sleep through. I got on the yoga ball and started bouncing to hopefully get things moving. I figured, if I couldn't sleep, I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible (ha!).

As the contractions grew increasingly strong, my nurse watched me labor through them and encouraged me to make "Ooh" and "Ahh" noises as I exhaled after each deep breath. After tiring of the yoga ball, I got back on the bed to lie down and would hop up on my hands and knees through each contraction while Chuck sat beside me and used the tennis balls I had packed to massage my lower back. Because my cervix was still relatively closed, my midwife asked me if I wanted to try and move things along with a foley bulb. The foley bulb was a catheter that they inserted into my cervix and then filled with water. The hope was that the bulb would gently continue opening my cervix and would naturally fall out when it had done it's job. It did it's job but just kind of hung out in my vagina for awhile which was super fun whenever I had to go pee and I had this little tube hanging out of me. The foley bulb probably stayed in for about an hour and when my midwife checked me and saw it had done it's job, she removed it and I went on my merry way laboring along.

After some more laboring, my midwife came back to check my progress around 4:00 pm. Although labor had been getting harder I honestly didn't feel like I was making any type of progress so I was relieved when she told me that I was now measuring around 5 cms. The nurse then administered my second dose of antibiotics while I continued to labor on the bed in various positions. At this point, contractions had gotten painful and so my memory of things is a little hazy.

While I labored on, the woman in the room neighboring our own had transitioned and was making the most godawful noises. Her yells were not moans of pain, but actual bloody murder screaming. This was not exactly an encouraging soundtrack to listen to while I started getting closer to real, active labor and I really began to question whether I could continue to do this if I was already in so much pain at only 5 cms. I told Chuck I was really considering asking for an epidural. He asked me if I thought I would regret it and I told him I didn't think I would. I just didn't feel like I had the physical stamina to continue if my labor was going to get worse to the point of mirroring my neighbor's.

When the nurse came in to administer my 3rd dose of antibiotics I asked her what would need to happen if I wanted to get an epidural. She explained that I would need to be moved from the birthing center to the labor and delivery wing and warned me about the psychological repercussions if I decided not to follow through with my plans for a natural birth. I decided that I would not feel guilty and I was willing to do what it took to successfully get this baby out. She said that if that was the case she was going to go get me started on some fluids for the epidural and talk to my midwife about my change of heart.

She was gone for about a half an hour and when she returned with my midwife I was starting to feel just a hair better after receiving about half the bag of fluid. My midwife, Cat encouraged me to give the birthing tub a try, calling it "our version of an epidural." She also offered to check me again hoping that a progress report would encourage me to keep going. She said I was measuring at "a good 7 cms" and was well on my way to 8. At this point I had started to get a second wind from the fluids they had given me so I decided to give the tub a try, but asked Cat when was the last chance I had to decide on the epidural. She said as long as the baby's head wasn't coming out, I could change my mind at any time. So with my nurse and midwife, it was decided that I would move to the tub and finish getting the remainder of the fluids. Chuck helped me out of the nightgown I had been wearing to labor in and into the nursing sports bra I had brought for the tub. Modesty, was apparently still a concern at this point, but not for long.

Chuck quickly changed into his jersey shorts and entered the tub with me. As I lowered my body into the hot water I began feeling more confident in my decision as the weight of my laboring body was relieved. That was, until my next contraction hit. While the warm water did help to relax me in between contractions, it honestly provided zero relief to the killer back labor pains I was experiencing what felt like every minute. Not soon after I entered the water, I started to feel a bit nauseous. I took a swig of water and it went down the wrong pipe. I just managed to get out "I might puke," before I began throwing up into the container my nurse grabbed for me at lightning speed. After getting sick, I felt a little bit better and my nurse brought over some peppermint essential oil to help with the nausea.

I started out in the tub leaning back against Chuck's chest for awhile, but I quickly found that I HATED being on my back for a contraction. As I began to transition, the pain in my back was excruciating. I got into a squatting position and leaned my head against the rim of the tub. Each time I felt a contraction starting again I would scream at Chuck to "PUSH!" This was my way of asking him to apply counter pressure to my lower back as it was honestly the only way I could cope with the pain of my back labor. After 1-2 hours of being in tub, I was ready to get out and started laboring on the toilet. For some reason, the toilet was my sweet spot. I would sit, rocking back and forth until a contraction would begin where I would then bend forward with my hands on the floor in front of me doing my "Oohs" and "Ahhs" while Chuck continued to rub my back.

As I drew closer and closer to the end I was getting physically depleted so I decided that I would lay down on the cool bathroom floor and then when I sensed a contraction coming on again, I quickly leapt back up on the toilet to get into my weird squatting position again. At one point, a contraction came on without notice and I rushed to the toilet to labor through it. My dear hubby, who was afraid I would stumble on the step in front of the porcelain throne, put his arms out to assist me. It was at this moment, I mistook his sweet gesture for an obstruction on my route to pain relief and actually snapped at him. Like a wild animal, I legitimately tried to bite off a chunk of his arm. 

As midnight approached, it was time for my 4th dose of antibiotics. As they reconnected my IV, I continued to moan and groan through each contraction as they came one on top of another. I could sense that I was getting closer so I decided to get back into the tub in hopes of getting my desired water birth on a roll. I assumed the same squatting position as before and screamed at Chuck to "PUSH!" with each contraction. His forearms were nearly numb at this point and the instant I felt him weaken the force he was applying, I would scream at him to push harder. I wasn't yet feeling the urge to push, but I knew it was coming soon as I could feel the baby descending downward. Because I was so close, my midwife asked me if I wanted her to check me again. The last thing I wanted to do was lay on my back again as it made my contractions feel absolutely excruciating, so I breathed through one or two more contractions until I felt mentally prepared to lean back and have her investigate.

I was officially at 10 cms and it was time to start pushing.

> > >

Go here to read Charlie's Birth Story: Part 3!



1.08.2015

10 Gift Ideas for New Moms


I know, I know- this blog has become baby central. If you're not interested in all things baby, you should probably move along and find a different blog to read. Right now, my brain is 100% consumed with Baby Pep so my blog might be a little bit lacking in diversity of material. However, if you are interested in all things baby, I'm hoping this will provide some good tips for those of you who may soon be in the same boat or are hoping to shower your loved ones who are expecting.

As a new Mommy, I've been making a mental list of all the products and resources that have been invaluable to Chuck and I during this newborn period. I've learned what things we could have left off the registry and what things we absolutely could not live without. So if you're looking for gift ideas for the new mom in your life, here are a few of my recommendations:


1// Fleece jammies (with zippers!)- Baby clothes are probably the most common and most fun thing to buy, but I'll let you in on a little secret- newborns really don't need cute, fancy clothing. When they're not eating or pooping, they're sleeping. Fleece jammies are the most practical thing you can purchase for a new mom. Also, if your new mom is like me and has zero experience dressing babies, those tiny little snaps can be super annoying. Zippers are your friend.

2// Diapers- Not the most fun thing to buy, but absolutely the most practical. Newborns poop. A lot. Like 10 times a day. Your new mom friends will thank you for this thoughtful (albeit a little bit boring) gift. Personally, I went with the Honest brand because I liked the idea of investing in a diaper that wasn't going to take 500 years to decompose in a landfill somewhere. That being said, we received Pampers Swaddlers from the hospital and we loved them too. Unless you know your friend will be cloth diapering, I have a sneaking suspicion that s/he will likely not care what brand her baby "goes" all over.

3// A helping hand- My nurses, midwives, pediatrician, friends and family members have all said the same thing: Baby comes first, household chores come second. That's all well and good, but seriously the chaotic state of my house is currently driving me crazy and I'm guessing I'm in the same boat with a lot of new moms. If it's someone who you feel comfortable enough with, offer them a helping hand- ask if you can do their dishes or a few loads of laundry. I guarantee this is a completely invaluable gift.

4// Pacifiers- These Avent Soothies are perfect for Mamas who are breastfeeding. I wasn't too keen on the idea of pacifiers until our ride home from the hospital and the consequent days when Baby Pep was fed, diapered, well-rested and still fussy for no obvious reason. I am now a full-fledged supporter of the pacifier.

5// Receiving blankets- These are one of the most useful items to have on hand for newborns. For swaddling and snuggling, yes. But mostly, I've been going through these bad boys quicker than wildfire just sopping up spit up and leaky breast milk. I guarantee no new Mom can have too many of these.

6// Humidifier- This may be more specific to Mamas of winter babies, but I so wish I had gotten one of these at my baby shower. Chuck and I are absolutely going to need to invest in one for Baby Pep because this poor kid is peeling like crazy. The dry, winter air and his soft newborn skin are a terrible combination and we've been having to lotion him up like crazy! I've also heard that humidifiers are good for congested little ones.

7// FOOD- I want to write an ode to the friends and family members who have cooked for us. A nice, homemade casserole or even a gift card to a friend's favorite restaurant (that delivers!) are such thoughtful and priceless gifts. It's cheap if you're on a budget and will be so appreciated by any new parent who has zero time to even think about what's for dinner.

8// Books- Alright, I know this may sound silly and could totally be just me talking, but I would love to receive books as a gift. I'm not talking baby books, but books for Mom. Much of being a new parent is trying to entertain yourself while cradling, nursing, soothing, etc. your baby. Fortunately, my bookshelf is filled with to-read books, but at my current rate, I'm flying through 2-3 books a week and will have to be making a library trip sooner than later!

9// Halo Sleepsack Swaddles- This was something not even on my radar, but the hospital gave us one when we were discharged and let me tell you- this thing is a miracle. We've put Baby Pep in this nearly every night since we came home and it virtually knocks him out every time we wrap him up. I'm not saying that this swaddle had made my baby the best sleeper there ever was, but it certainly hasn't hurt! I will definitely be buying more of these.

10// Nursing pads- Clearly, this is something you probably want to buy for a friend you know well and who you know plans to breastfeed. Breastfeeding supplies are another one of those gifts that are not particularly exciting to purchase, but are a big help to a new mom, like me, who has zero clue how much her boobs are about to leak. Seriously, breast milk everywhere.

> > >

What's your favorite gift to buy for new parents?
If you're a new parent, is there anything you would add to this list?

1.07.2015

Becoming a SAHM | Stephanie @ Share the Love


Hello there (Bee)autiful Blessings readers!  I am so happy to be sharing here today while our beeautiful Kaity is spending precious time with her new little one.  My name is Stephanie and I blog over at Share the Love.

Share the Love was initially a private wedding blog used to update our wedding party on any wedding-related news.  After getting married, I made the blog public and just kept on writing.  These days I write mostly about my life as a wife and stay-at-home mom (although I could now change that to “working stay-at-home mom” since I *just* took the big leap and started my own part-time translation business from home!)  If any of you run home businesses, I would so appreciate getting some tips!  Mostly, I’m curious about how to work accounting.  I’m also looking for free/cheap reliable accounting software.  If you have any suggestions, please e-mail me at Stephanie.farrel12@gmail.com


So today I’m going to share with you how I came about the decision of working from home.

When I first found out we were expecting last year, my husband and I agreed that I’d be going back to work full-time (out of the home) in the fall, which meant when my baby would be about four months old.  Our plan was for my husband to stay home with our son until his parental leave was over in January 2015.   Being the great care-taker that he is, my husband would be a perfect stay-at-home Dad.

But our plans changed the night before my first job interview a few months ago.  I was nursing my 4-month old son at the time and he looked up at me with the sweetest most loving smile. His eyes were full of love. I saw in his eyes that I'm his whole world. And it hit me, a heart-wrenching sadness. I really don't want to return to full-time work right now.  I WANT to stay with my baby.  Actually there is nothing I want more than that.

That night after I put Kaid to sleep, hubby walks into the nursery to check up on us. I was a bit scared to tell him how I felt because I knew he was counting on me to go back to work to bring in more money.  Being on one income for the past few years while I was in school was hard on our family situation.  He spent the last two years supporting us financially. 
Once I said the words out loud, "I don't want to stop breastfeeding and leave my baby", I knew my husband "got it". I didn't need to say more. He looked at me approvingly and said "ok".  That moment was such a big weight of my shoulders.  


That was about three months ago and we’re so happy with our decision.  I love being home with my son.  Families, parents, moms and Dads need to do what’s best for their family.  Sometimes it’s going back to work, sometimes it’s staying home, and sometimes it’s a bit of both.  For me, it’s staying home with my son (for now).

What about you?  Have any of you gone back to work when your babies were very young to make sure you provided financially for your family?  Or does staying home work better?

CUSTOM BLOG DESIGN CREATED BY PRETTYWILDTHINGS