Thursday, August 21, 2014

22 Weeks

Baby Pep,

I read this blog post today over Coffee + Crumbs: A Letter to my Pre-Mom Self. And just like that, I welled up. Blame it on the hormones, as I've been prone to do the last few days. But it goes deeper than that. I don't know that I've always been resistant to change, or if I'm just growing increasingly crotchety and set in my ways in my old age. But I'm so scared of what's to come. Your Daddy and I spent some time this morning sorting through some secondhand baby clothes gifted to us by a co-worker. And as we oohed and ahhed over the adorable footie pajamas and sweater vests in our possession, I was haunted by this nagging feeling that I was just playing a part. Sure, the itty bitty baby socks were cute. But I can't for a second begin to imagine dressing someone in them. And not just someone, but my own flesh-and-blood son. A person whom I made and share DNA with. A person whom I'm supposed to love with a love I've never experienced before and do everything in my power to care for and protect.

It all just seems so foreign. I've never been a "kid" person. It's like I'm missing that instinctual good-with-kids gene that I've seen in so many of my friends and family. The one who derives joy from pushing them on a swing for hours on end. Or rushes to their aid when they fall down and scrape a knee. Usually in these situations, I look around panicked, for someone more qualified than myself to calm this upset child and squelch their hurts. 

Even your kicks seem like a physical manifestation and reminder of my inadequacy. Sure, there's a small part of me that derives reassurance from those little bumps inside my belly. The reminder being that you are still alive and developing. But more often then not, I find myself thinking, "Cut it out, kid! I'm trying to fall asleep, here." This can't be a normal reaction!

I'm concerned that by writing this, one day you will read this and feel like you were unwanted. And I wonder if it's appropriate of me to reveal these thoughts. But I guess I'm hoping that if I talk to you like I would a friend, or confidante, that maybe I can overcome this disconnect. I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe another Mama or future Mama can relate to these words and I'll feel not so alone. I'm hoping that by writing this today, I will look back months from now in all of my new Mom glory and smile knowingly at my Pre-Mom self and think, "Sweetie, you have no idea how good it's about to get."


Monday, August 18, 2014

Maternity Must-Haves

I've always been a little insecure about my figure (what girl hasn't?). I've got skinny arms and chicken legs, but my mid-section is wide and squishy. Everyone in my family carries their weight the same way I do: in our tummies. I never imagined this would turn out to be a blessing when I got pregnant!

My closet is filled with leggings upon leggings and flowy, babydoll dresses. So thankfully, I think I'll be able to stretch out my regular wardrobe for the majority of this pregnancy. But I have added a few maternity staples that I'm soo glad I invested in:

1// ASOS Maternity- Exclusive Wrap Skater Dress in Heart Print- $23
2// Target- Maternity Short Sleeve Basic Tee- $15
3// Motherhood Maternity- Long Sleeve Side Ruched Maternity Sweater- $30
4// H&M- MAMA Treggings- $30
5// H&M- MAMA Leggings- $13

It's not always easy to find maternity wear that doesn't look so...maternal. But for just over $100 I managed to snag some essentials that are going to carry me through to the end! If you're looking for inexpensive, but cute maternity wear I would highly recommend H&M and ASOS. The dress above was originally $50 and I managed to snag it for half the price!

> > >

What have your favorite places to shop for maternity clothes been?

Friday, August 15, 2014

Oh Hey, Friday | Because I Have Nothing to Write

Aren't link-ups a beautiful cure for writer's block?!

1 | Current read? Four: A Divergent Story Collection. Because who doesn't want to spend more time imagining Theo James sans-shirt? (You're welcome).

2 | Currently loving? My awesome co-worker who brought me in a huge bag of baby boy hand-me-downs. Yay, baby clothes! 

3 | Current need? A haircut. As evidenced by the photo above. It's probably been a year since my last and my layers are crying out for attention.

4 | Currently planning? A dinner date for our two year anniversary. How have I been married for almost two years...with a baby on the way?! Sometimes I feel like growing up is all about going through the motions while remaining a kid at heart. I'm just happy I married a fellow kid to play with for the rest of my days :)


5 | Currently feeling? Exhausted. Work has been crazier than usual lately and will likely continue to be through the end of the month. I love what I do and I'm so thankful to be busy rather than bored, but by the end of the workday, my brain is mush!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

21 Weeks

Baby Pep,

It's still sinking in- YOU'RE A BOY! Daddy and I have started seriously having the name discussion. I think we may have settled on one for you, but honestly, it seems too premature. I don't think I'll be ready to call you by name until we officially meet you. 

In other news, you've been kicking. A LOT. I started feeling you several weeks ago, but it was hard to differentiate your little movements from my regular digestion. Though it seems, in the last week you've been ready to make your presence known! I think I've felt you every single day since our ultrasound, mostly at night right around bedtime. It's such an odd sensation to feel like you're being kicked by a tiny human- I keep trying to get Daddy to feel them, but no luck yet. I guess he'll just have to wait until you're a bit bigger.

Daddy and I have also been hunkering down and getting into nesting mode. We spent all day Saturday cleaning your future home from top to bottom. And it felt so good! We've also been thinking more and more about your nursery. In fact, Mommy is planning an Ikea trip with the girls next weekend to get a head start! First thing on the list? A dresser to start storing your cute little clothes and diapers in.

I think that's the big stuff this week, baby. I'm loving watching you grow.


Friday, August 8, 2014

Allow Myself to Introduce...Myself


Wow, I'm throwing it way back with the Austin Powers reference. I figured it was about time that I publish a non-baby related post. (You're welcome). A few days ago, Natasha @ Hello! Happiness posted an Introduction/Refresher for new and old readers alike and I loved the format she chose. So today, I'm taking a page out of her book and giving you my own little refresher: 

Name: Kaitlyn, Kaity, Bee (to my husband)
Age: 26
Occupation: Non-Profit Program Coordinator. Basically, I try to help make fresh, healthy food accessible for low-income folks
Family: One teddy bear of a hubby and one baby boy on the way!

Hobbies: Blogging (of course!), reading, walking/hiking and jogging (when I'm not making a human), traveling
Favorite Music: A little bit of everything! Led Zeppelin, Crosby, Stills & Nash, Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Eminem, Ludacris, Brad Paisley, Miranda Lambert (I told you...everything.)
Favorite TV: Friends, Orange is the New Black, The Office, The Challenge (MTV), New Girl and pretty much any type of cooking show.
Favorite Movies: Almost Famous, Love Actually, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Favorite Reads: The Harry Potter series, To Kill a Mockingbird, A Walk Across the Sun, FanGirl, Love Does, and anything written by Roald Dahl

Five fun facts:
1. I have a huge crush on Michael Jordan.
2. I bungee jumped over the Nile River.
3. I can rap the entire The Eminem Show album.
4. I'm allergic to peach skin (weirdest allergy ever).
5. I once spent the night on the sidewalk outside the U.S. Supreme Court.