Happy Things

I am truly, unabashadely happy with my life right now.

Our house is truly beginning to feel like our home. I have a job that I adore. And as always, I'm having a blast with my lifetime partner-in-crime.

Here are some other things that have made me crazy happy lately :)

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These Candy Cane Coffee K-Cups from Target. I am not even a coffee person, but I've had this every morning for the last week with some Natural Bliss Sweet Cream creamer. So good.

Decorating for Christmas!!! I am not one of those people who insists that Christmas cannot begin until Thanksgiving is over. I hate cold weather, and if celebrating Christmas prematurely is what will get me through the dreary chill of winter, well gosh darnit, I'm going to!

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The Cartwheel by Target app. Seriously, have I mentioned how much I've been loving Target lately. This app combines two of my greatest shopping loves: Target and couponing! If you haven't downloaded it yet, don't wait a second longer!

But most of all, I've been loving all the family time I've had lately. Both with Chuck, and with my sister-in-law and niece. After a Friday night spent at the Columbus Zoo, and a 2-year old's birthday party Saturday afternoon, Chuck and I volunteered our babysitting expertise (ha!) so Chuck's brother and sister-in-law could enjoy a kid-free night. It was a tiring weekend, but getting to cuddle with my husband and niece while we watched The Santa Clause practically made my heart burst!

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What has been making your heart happy lately?

Damn Good

Over the summer, I wrote a post about my fears. I feared I would never find a job I loved. A job I was good at. I didn't know it at the time, but I was nearly two months away from leaving the job I was sort-of-okay-at-but-really-didn't-enjoy for the job that was virtually designed for me.

I've been working at the Food Bank for about a month and a half now and I feel completely comfortable in saying that for the first time in my life, I love my job.

Today, the event I have helped see into fruition was held. The partners I work with came from all over Ohio to attend this celebration where I would give a handful of presentations and help facilitate dialogue between them. Being that I'm as introverted as I am, you might think that I dread public speaking. Granted, it's not one of my favorite things, but over the years I've gotten pretty good at it. In grade school, I ran for Student Council every year from 6th grade until my senior year. I gave a speech in front of the entire school telling them why they should vote for me as their Treasurer. If memory serves me correctly, I'm pretty sure I ran unopposed every year. But the experience of getting in front of 300ish students to rattle off my underdeveloped resume was totally invaluable.

Taken shortly after my Hubby made a fantastic dinner,
and shortly before I thanked him by making him listen to my redundant speech-recitation. 

In college, my best friend and I co-led our campus chapter of International Justice Mission, a Christian humanitarian organization that seeks to end slavery and sex trafficking. Laura was a business major and handled all of the logistical stuff. Me on the other hand, I led the weekly prayer during our meetings and spoke on on-campus events, raising awareness for the work of IJM. I was so passionate about what I was speaking about, and I rocked it.

So today, when I had to present to a group of about 100, I had a speech in hand, practice under my belt (I may or may not have subjected Chuck to my speeches for a solid half hour at the dinner table) and caffeine flowing through my veins. I got up there, barely glanced at my speech and I once again, rocked it.

At the end of the day as I was leaving to go home, my supervisor complimented me, and her positive feedback meant the world to me. It felt so good to be validated, to be told that I am an asset to my organization (my words, not my supervisor's).

All this is to say, not only am I loving my job, but I am damn good at it.

NaNoWriMo Excerpt: Our First Date

I told myself I was going to participate in NaNoWriMo this month. I was gung-ho, but in typical fashion, when I realized how difficult it actually is to write 50,000 words, I quickly abandoned my goal. I don't know if I'll ever be a published author. Frankly, I just don't think I have the discipline for it. But a girl can dream, right?

This was my initial effort at writing my story. Comments, constructive criticism and/or enthusiastic statements of praise are all more than welcome...

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It was 10:00 AM on a chilly Sunday morning in December. My mattress on the floor of my second story, brick apartment was pressed up against the window overlooking an expansive, but rickety balcony. My previously straightened brunette hair was disheveled and I was the exact kind of exhausted that only results from a late, drunken night. I had promised my gay best friend, Mark* we would meet for breakfast at 10:00 AM. With a groan, I firmly decided it was not going to happen.

I quickly sent him a text message, "Raincheck on breakfast? Too hungover."

Collapsing back into the pile of crumpled pillows and sheets, I was completely contented by the idea of spending the rest of the day in bed. I pulled up the hood of my favorite college sweatshirt and wiggled further into the warm embraces of the cocoon I'd awoken in. Not bothering to place my smart phone where I usually kept it atop my nightstand, I lazily pushed aside a pile of books beside my bed to make just enough room to casually throw the phone aside.

I was slowly drifting back into a solid slumber when the beep of a text message alert stirred me out of it. Irritated, but wanting to remain in Mark's good graces, I rolled over to read, "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

 It wasn't Mark.

It was in fact the adorable, muscled blonde I had spent the latter part of my night flirting with. Butterflies swarmed my stomach as I recalled our night together. The moment when I reassured him I was coming back to our mutual friends' Ugly Christmas Sweater Party from a quick liquor run; and the consequent moment when I realized he was interested in me. The hours spent on the cigarette-burned, shabby sofa in the living room of the after party I'd found myself genuinely enjoying at 4:00 AM. And of course, the cheesy line he had recited, "I think this is necessary," right before he leaned in for our first kiss. He had watched me slowly climb the decrepit, wooden stairs leading to my balcony. The alcohol was wearing off, but the steepness of the warped planks caused me to stumble once or twice before I reached my front door. I flashed him a quick smile as he turned around, growing smaller under the light of the snow-covered streetlamps.

Snapping myself back to reality, I realized I had a huge smile on her face. I wrote back, "Feeling rough. How about you? :)"

"Feeling alright. Could use some coffee though. Would you like to join me?"

"Yes!" I wanted to scream. But we'd only just met last night and I had to play it cool. Besides, agreeing to meet him for coffee when I'd just bailed on Mark put me in the World's Shittiest Friend category.

I sent him a casual reply and we agreed to meet at the local pub just a block away from my apartment. I threw on the salt-stained, furry boots that had adorned my feet last night when we jogged home together from the after party. I was at the peak of my physical fitness and I had hoped in my drunken stupor, that running through the slippery, winter slush would impress him. He kept pace while I imagine, trying to accomplish a similar goal.

I drug myself into the recesses of my slope-ceilinged bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. Gazing into the mirror, my bloodshot eyes and smeared mascara mocked my attempts to look presentable to the guy I was certain was someone I would soon begin a relationship with. With a quick swipe of my eye liner residue, and a fresh application of mascara I just about bolted to the front door. Haphazardly grabbing my purse, and bracing myself for the cruel winter chill, I mentally prepared myself for my first date with the man I'd been waiting my whole life for.

Baby Bucket List

Have I mentioned lately that Husband and I have baby on the brain? Oh, only about 17 dozen times? Well, allow me to make that 17 dozen plus one.

We are growing more and more excited about the prospect of parenthood, but we've also concluded that there are a lot of hurdles we'd like to overcome before we make such a life-altering commitment. For one thing, since we've been married, Chuck and I have always had opposing work schedules. We've become acclimated to fitting each other into our sparse free time. We make it work, but it's no secret that we miss each other.

You might remember me mentioning the other day that both Chuck and my love language is "quality time." He truly is my best friend, and I know that these early years of our marriage are going to be the only chance we have in this life to be young and able to just enjoy each other.

We decided we wanted to create a Baby Bucket List of sorts. Or the list of things we want to make sure we accomplish before jumping in to a life of breast pumps, pack-and-plays and diaper rash. It's not long, but we're pretty determined to see it through.

number one

Go to Disney World.

Does anyone remember this commercial from the 90's?!
"I've been waiting my whole life to meet you."
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Or really, taking any "second honeymoon" trip would probably be enough to check this item off the list. But Chuck is an avid Disney fan. Possibly even more than me. And he's never been to the Happiest Place on Earth. I would absolutely love to be the one to accompany him for his first Disney trip!

number two

Purchase a king-size bed.

I'm in love with this white/gold bedroom!
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How both Chuck and I manage to sleep night-after-night in our miniature full-size bed legitimately defies all laws of physics. We've been pining away for a king size bed for awhile now, and if we have any hopes of adding a pregnant belly to our lives, the purchase is a necessity.

number three

Pay off my credit card.

Our financial guru, Dave Ramsey.
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I've shared before the extent of my student loan debt. Although, it's not pretty, it is manageable. My credit card debt, however, is a combination of bad decision making when I was young(er) and naive and the result of us needing to cover our ass when we made our recent move to Ohio. I don't like it hanging over our heads, and it would certainly be one less thing to worry about before a mini-Stuckert were to arrive!

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What items are on your Baby Bucket List?

Back to the 21st Century!

The past month of living internet-free has not been easy, my friends. I read more books, but I also blogged a whole lot less. And don't even get me started on how much Parks and Rec catching up I have to do!

Needless to say, I'm happy to be back. Ecstatic, you might say...

Baby Talk

If you’ve stuck around with me lately during this internet-less time in my life, 1. Thank you! and 2. You know the husband and I have babies on the brain. Big time.

 

I admit, I’m excited by the prospect of Mommyhood, but I’m so terrified, as well. Hubby and I still have an enormous amount of debt and I have this ridiculous hope that despite of our finances, I would love to take my husband to Disney World for the first time. Or really, any big trip. Our honeymoon was so much fun, I want to re-live it! There’s also the not-so-small fact that if we were to have a baby, we’d both still be working. We don’t have the luxury of staying home with our mini-Stuckert so there’d be finagling to be done there.

 

Thinking about all these things, I really wanted to seek out the advice of the ladies who have been there, done that. I emailed a handful of my favorite bloggers who also all happen to be working Mamas. I wanted to know- how did you do it? What budget changes had to be made? These are some of the highlights from the awesome insight these ladies had for me:

Erin from Running on Chocolate said… “…I will mention something that has been on my heart lately. Jon and I  were married a year and a half before getting pregnant and were dirt poor. We did three trips all to visit family. We did no fun weekend trips or vacations just us. And now all I think about is wanting to leave for a weekend with my husband to experience a new place...without kids. We will have chances to do that, maybe once every few years. So I just want to encourage you and the hubs have fun and make a list of things to  do before baby...connect with him now so that when you have babies and little time and sanity you can remember the times when it was peaceful and simple…”

 

Rachael from Kincaid Parade said… “…It's a cultural thing, for us to wonder if we can afford a baby. I'm speaking grace and truth to you now - you can…”

Lucy from Lucy the Valiant said… “…Babies are expensive. But they are also not as expensive as those terrifying Cost of Average Baby calculators that you see running around. Find a couple of nice kid's resale shops and educate yourself about what baby paraphernalia you actually need (I'm looking at you, wipes warmer!) and it won't be so bad. The problem that I have found is that a lot of the things I could do to cut down on cost are difficult to accomplish as a working mother. Formula is expensive, but it's hard to breastfeed and go to work simultaneously. Diapers are expensive, but it's hard to find a caregiver who will "get" cloth diapering, etc. It would be much cheaper to make my own baby food, but there are literally not enough hours in the day. You have to find a balance between frugality and not killing yourself.

 

 

I’m so thankful for the insight these ladies shared with me. They’re Mama’s whose opinion I truly value and if I could pick one resounding theme from all of their messages it would be this- You will never be truly ready for parenthood. Just do the best you can and things will work themselves out.

 

And boy oh boy is that the truth- I am not ready for parenthood. But I never will be. I just have to trust in God’s timing and Chuck’s and my relationship and go from there. I still don’t know when we’ll decide to have a baby, but I just have to trust that it’ll happen when it’s meant to.

My Biggest Problem in Marriage

 

My marriage, much like everyone else’s is not free from issue. Problems arise, we deal with them with as much grace as we can muster and then we try to continue loving each other the best we can. Since moving to Ohio, the adjustment has been taxing on me. After our second week, when I once again broke down in hysterical sobs, Chuck told me he saw me cry more in the two weeks we’d lived in Ohio than in our entire relationship. I felt blessed to once again be near friends and family again, but I was seriously grieving the loss of all the one-on-one time Chuck and I shared when we were in our faraway land of Pittsburgh.
 

A few years ago I read The Five Love Languages. While I love my husband’s cuddles and I love when he does the dishes or opens the car door for me, my love language is 100% quality time. Chuck’s is too. We feel closest to each other when we’re just sitting on the couch together watching a movie, going for a walk or eating dinner together. Chuck legitimately is my best friend and every second I have to spend with him is such a joy.
 

So right now, our biggest problem is the fact that I miss him all.the.damn.time. I hate feeling like the needy wife that I am, or like I’m making him choose between me and his friends. But because of our opposing work schedules, I see him Wednesday and Sunday evenings. That’s it. I’m asleep when he gets home, and he’s asleep when I leave. I miss him, terribly. And therein lies the biggest problem in our marriage.
 

Which causes me to think- if the fact that my husband is completely devoted, always makes me laugh, always helps out around the house, but isn’t at home as much as I’d like is the biggest problem in my life- I am one blessed lady.

 

So I’ll continue missing him, and soaking up every opportunity to sneak kisses and hold his hand. All the while, thanking God for the biggest problem in my marriage.



On Writing

For as long as I can remember, I've been a writer. As a little girl, I would craft poems about my favorite place in the world: Cape May, NJ. In middle school, I can distinctly remember carrying around a red marble notebook. I stayed after school every single day to spend an hour writing a story about a group of teenagers who stumble upon a distant land filled with mermaids and bad guys...that's all I can remember about it. I was in sixth grade and the story was terrible. But I was committed to writing it.

This blog does a pretty good job of satisfying my inherent need to write. But not all of it. I want to write, really write. One day I would love to be a published author. There's only one problem: I have no idea what I want to write about.

I decided this year I was going to bite the bullet and participate in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).  I don't have an outline. I have no ideas. I don't even know that I can write fiction. But I'm going to write. And if nothing miraculously comes to me I'll write what I know. I'll write about overcoming the "loss" of a parent, I'll write about surviving abuse, I'll write about being saved by Jesus, I'll write about throwing away my trust issues and falling deeply in love.

Somewhere untapped, there lies a story in that. And damnit, I'm going to find it. Wish me luck!

14 Months as Mrs.

I really pondered whether or not I would continue to do these bi-monthly updates after our first newlywed year. It would seem a little silly to have a “144 Months as Mrs.” Post. But on the other hand, I genuinely love documenting my journey being married to Chuck and the things I continue to learn along the way. It’s amazing just how much we've grown as individuals and as a couple over the last year.

babies!

Boy, oh boy do we have babies on the brain lately. And for once, it's not just me! We know the timing still isn't right so we're holding out a while longer until we're more settled in our jobs and a little more financially secure. I just keep trying to remind myself of the permanency of parenthood- this is not a decision we should enter into lightly.

Seriously, how cute does this man look with a baby?!

sex

I never know how much is too much information to share when it comes to this topic. But I'm not one to pretend like it doesn't happen. C'mon, we're married- it's allowed! I'll just say this: I have a theory that sex is like wine. It only improves with time. ;)

knowing

We went for a walk the other night and I told Chuck that I feel like we're exiting the new-and-exciting part of married life and just settling in to life together. I once read somewhere that it takes three years to truly know someone. Next month is our three-year mark, and I think I'd have to agree with that. We still have some things to learn about each other, but I've gotten to a place where I can really anticipate how Chuck is going to act in a given situation, and he can usually anticipate my reaction to the same situation. Knowing that about each other creates a lot less room for conflict. 

equal

I wouldn't describe Chuck as a feminist. But the fact remains, we have a truly egalitarian relationship- which I give a lot of credit to Chuck's parents' example. I do more cooking (which isn't saying much- I rarely cook), but Chuck is the one to usually do the laundry. He does more dishes, I do more vacuuming. We pay our bills together. Chuck has always said there is no "tit for tat" in our relationship. We don't keep score and we contribute as we're able. Can I tell you what a relief it is to live like that?! Because if I'm being honest, if there was any score-keeping- Chuck would absolutely kick my ass.

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Catch up on my previous months as Mrs.:

One Year

10 Months

8 Months

6 Months

4 Months