Thank God for Sex

I'll be honest, there's a small part of me that doesn't want to write what I'm about to write. One, because it is deeply personal and two, because I don't want my intentions misunderstood. It is only because I have this inherent need to write out my feelings that I have decided to bare my heart and soul.

You may remember a couple months ago I wrote a post about how I had waited to find my husband, but did not wait until our wedding night to...ahem...consummate our relationship (see here). You may also recall that a little over a week ago, Chuck and I met with our Pastor who is solemnizing our vows for some pre-marital counsel. He was aware of our current living situation and was frank with us about his feelings as a Pastor about it. His words were kind and loving, but honest and sincere. (Just another reason why we have so much respect for him).

After Reverend Noah left, and Chuck and I remained to ponder what had been discussed, I asked him about whether he would entertain the idea of abstaining for the remaining four months until our wedding day. To my surprise, he was 100% supportive of the idea. 

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I had a vague notion of why it was important to me, and to us, that we abstain for the next few months. It did not stem from any feelings of guilt for "jumping the gun" nor were we trying to impress anyone or prove anything. Our pact was simply about us and about God. Not having grown up in the Church, it would be an understatement to say I lack spiritual discipline. I haven't picked up my Bible in months, if not years and my prayers are sporadic, inconsistent and mostly self-centered. I've been craving a closer, more devoted relationship with my Holy Father and in light of the spiritual union and commitment Chuck and I are about to make, this seemed the perfect practice to honor God and the gifts of love, marriage and sex that He's bestowed upon us.

However, it wasn't until yesterday while reading A Walk Across the Sun, the story of two young girls who are orphaned by a tsunami and soon after abducted into the world of sex trafficking, that it occurred to me why our abstention is so significant. I am pretty familiar with the gruesome and sickening realities of global sex trafficking and modern-day slavery having worked with IJM in college. But it was not until I was immersed in the story of young girls whose innocence was brutally stripped away from them, that it began to dawn on me just how blessed I am to be given the gift of sex in my relationship.

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When Chuck and I first...ahem...consummated our relationship, it was rooted in love and trust. We had found each other and were ready to demonstrate our commitment to one another through this beautiful act of intimacy. I distinctly remember Chuck asking me the next day my feelings about the events that transpired because we had a mutual understanding of just how significant this step in our relationship was. For millions of girls, they will never know that feeling of affection and trust. They will not bask in the warm embrace of the man they love. Rather, they will be hurt. They will come to associate a beautiful gift from God as ugly, painful and cruel. They will begin to view sex not as the physical representation of love in their lives, but as a commodity. 

It is because of those girls that Chuck and I are abstaining from sex until we are legally wed. It is because of those girls that we have come to understand what a gift sex is and we intend to treat it as such. 

It is because of those girls that we will thank God for sex.

Sunday Blessings XV

Happy Sunday everyone! I awoke (although reluctantly and groggily) for work this morning and was greeted by a beautiful sunrise. Summer is coming! This past week has seen a whole lot of birthday love and I'm so glad I get to share with you today, my...

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birthday

Where to start?! The Facebook and Blogger love I received put the hugest smile on my face. I love that birthdays give us an "in" to reconnect with the people we've lost touch with. I came home from work on my birthday to a clean home, a warm meal and Seasons 4 & 5 of Friends. My hubby knows me well! Friday night, we were able to go see Trans-Siberian Orchestra for Chuck's (belated) birthday. I have never had music bring me so close to tears. The performances were all phenomenal. We finished off the evening with Taco Bell at 12:00 PM. It was the most perfect, wonderful, fun birthday weekend...all with my best friend and love.

job

Working two straight weeks with no time off is not my idea of a good time. However, I cannot take for granted the fact that 1) I have a job, 2) I have a job that allows me great flexibility and 3) I have a job that could possibly be the easiest thing in the world...and lets me read all day!

school

(Or lack thereof). I finally got my remaining two grades for the Spring semester back yesterday- all A's! This past semester, while tiring, was so rewarding. I loved my classes and gained so much from them. It's easy to excel when you love what you're studying! In the mean time, I have approximately three months with nothing to do but read...for pleasure. Oh books, how I've missed you! I've challenged myself on GoodReads.com to read 212 books in 2012. Think I can do it?

jesus

I wasn't able to mention it last Sunday because I had pre-written my post, but while visiting Ohio we were able to attend our home Church. I know I've already raved about our Pastor on here, but being present for his sermon last Sunday was such a blessing. He really spoke to some of the things that I've been struggling with lately (i.e. how my selfishness can sometimes lead me to be oblivious of the everyday miracles taking place around me). That is, after all, why I always count my Sunday Blessings!

How have you been blessed this week? Grab a button and link-up!

Pre-Marital Counsel

Unfortunately, hubby and I were only able to spend a short time in his hometown of Ohio this past weekend, but we managed to fit a lot in for just a couple days! I was able to enjoy lunch/dinner dates with two of my best Ohio friends and a fun-filled night spent in Chuck's parents' "Mancave" that lent itself to a pretty unpleasant hangover in the morning.

A night spent with friends and family in the notorious, ManCave.

By far, the best moment of our trip was meeting with our Pastor, Noah on Sunday afternoon. Before we departed to return to PA, we were able to obtain a little pre-marital counsel and discuss our upcoming nuptials. Before we got engaged, I knew nothing about what I wanted for our wedding with the exception of one thing: Reverend Noah. 

Our Pastor is one of the most humble, Godly and intelligent men I've ever known and we are so blessed by his presence in our lives. While I won't delve into the nitty-gritty details of what was discussed (as they're mostly things I'd like to keep between the three of us) I will say that our conversation left me utterly blessed and enlightened. It's been so easy to become swept into the insignificant and superficial details of planning a wedding that both Chuck and I admitted we'd kind of lost sight of why this day was happening in the first place.

We arrived home safely Sunday night still mulling over our meeting with Noah and admitted that the sincerity of the commitment we're making has only made us fall more in love. I think the reality that these vows are for life is beginning to sink in for both of us. Who knew when we met on that December evening over a year ago that it would be the last time in both our lives that would be spent exclusive of each other? I'd be lying if I said forever doesn't make me nervous sometimes, but truth be told, there is no one I'd feel more confident embarking upon it with than the man I'm engaged to.

Sunday Blessings XIV

*This post was written Friday, April 20*

As you can see, my weekend will be full of quality friend time and alcohol-induced shenanigans, but I wanted to ensure I wasn't neglecting to count the blessings abundant in my life!

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school

I'm done, I'm done! My last class was Monday and I submitted my last research paper of the semester this morning, which means...I finished one whole year of grad school! I've had my ups and downs trying to figure out if my program was the right fit for me, but I've finally made peace with my decision. I know that this is where God intends me to be and I'm so thankful for the opportunity.

work

Every so often at work, I get a real stinky person give me grief. But for that one person, there's at least 10 more who completely brighten my day. Jerry is a retired school teacher who is the friendliest man you'll ever meet and loves hearing about my wedding planning and future career plans. Father Joe is a local, Catholic priest who is very interested in my desire to work in hunger relief and has brought me literature on different organizations that his congregation works with. Both men are gracious and kind gentleman and I look forward to our conversations together.

family

The older get the more I grow to appreciate how enthusiastic my Mom was and is about celebrating holidays. On Easter, we'd get cleverly hidden Easter baskets wrapped in pretty cellophane, St. Paddy's Day saw "pots o' gold" and our birthdays were always the in which she made us feel that we were the most important people in the world. We were never spoiled, just blessed with little things that brightened our days. It's something I've grown to truly love about my Mom and something I want to continue with my own babies.

How have you been blessed this week? Grab a button and link-up!

What I'm Loving Wednesday v2

I've kind of had blogger's block the last few days. I think my brain is exhausted after a looong semester and is taking a much-needed vacation! So while I wait for my brain to return to the homeland here's...

I'm loving...that I've been in serious bridal mode for the last 24 hours. I have yet to remove my backside from our couch where I've been watching episodes of Say Yes to the Dress and Facebook stalking everyone I've ever known (and even people I don't!) who've had a wedding. I'm ready to get married NOW!

Is there a woman out there who doesn't adore Randy?!
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I'm loving...that Chuck and I may have finally landed on a keeper for our tattoo idea. We've wanted to get corresponding tattoos for forever and last night we finally decided on our design, location, etc. Here is our inspiration for our post-nuptial ink:

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I'm loving...looking at all the adoptable puppies on PetFinder.com. I'm so ready to bring home a fur baby!

Pops, you can snuggle with me any day!
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I'm loving...that I finally got around to dying my hair last night. Black really suits me!

My go-to color.
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What are you loving today?!

Growing Things

I've had a couple friends recently ask me about gardening. I've only been at it for a couple years now, but I feel like I have a good enough handle on the basics to share what I know and show you my own progress. 

Step 1: Know what you want to plant and when to plant it. There are so many resources available on Pinterest right now that perfectly demonstrate the timeline for most of your favorite vegetables. 

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Tomatoes, summer squashes, beans and peppers are all warm season crops so they get started later in spring. Lettuces, winter squashes and veggies in the cabbage family are cool season crops so they can be planted in early spring and late summer. Because frost and winter temperatures will kill your babies, it's important that you start your seeds indoors until it warms up enough for them to survive outside on their own.

Step 2: Grab a container. You don't need fancy pottery or gardening do-hickeys to start your seeds- egg cartons, aluminum cans, plastic bottles and K-cups are all fantastic tools to birth your seeds! Since my Mom bought us a Keurig coffee machine for Christmas this year, I'll demonstrate with my K-cups. I removed the used K-cup label from the cup and threw it away. Using a knife, I removed the inner filter and coffee grounds from the cup and tossed most of them in the garbage (*If you're a coffee drinker, be sure to hang onto your coffee grounds-they're an amazing fertilizer so feel free to add a handful or two to your soil!). What ever container you decide to use, be sure to poke a hole in the bottom for drainage- otherwise you run the risk of drowning your plants!

Step 3: Get planting. Fill your container up 3/4 of the way with your soil. Using your finger gently press a small hole into the soil (about a 1/2 inch is sufficient). Add a couple drops of water to moisten it and add two of your seeds. By planting two you ensure that at least one will come up! Gently fill in the hole- don't compact your soil by pushing down on it, you want to give your plants an easy way to sprout.

Step 4: Set up a good environment. Once all your seeds are planted, place them in a tray, pan or any large, flat container. You want something that will catch any water and run-off dirt, otherwise your house will be a mess! I used two pie tins and separated my K-cups between them so I wouldn't get my two types of tomatoes mixed up. I used a clothespin to label them and placed them on the windowsill.

Step 5: Nurture your babies. Be sure that your seeds get plenty of sunlight. When you notice the soil getting dry, you can pour water directly into your tray for the plants to absorb. The holes at the bottom allow them to suck up the water they want and no more than they need.

There you have it- easy as can be! Stay tuned for an update when it comes time to transplant!

Sunday Blessings XIII: Fiance Edition

Today, my fiance turns 23 years old! For 11 whole days, we'll be the same age (You caught me! I'm a cradle-robber). So in the spirit of this incredibly wonderful and beautiful day, I've decided to devote April 15th's Sunday Blessings to the man who has blessed me more than I could have ever asked for...

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attentiveness

I asked him last night why he complies with my silly requests all the time- "Baby, will you get me a blanket?", "Will you get me a glass of water?", "Can you turn the heat up?" (I have reptilian blood). You get the picture. As soon as the words come out of my mouth, I regret them. I feel so manipulative because I know he's too sweet and pure-hearted to say no. But the thing is, he chooses to make me happy. Even though he could just as easily say no, he does everything to make me the happiest girl in the world.

provisioning

I never thought I'd be one to care about money. But as it turns out, not having it, makes you want it. Even though he values my work ethic and my ambition, Chuck takes it upon himself to provide for us. He would literally do anything to ensure that out future family and me are taken care of. It's the safest, most wonderful feeling in the world.

Clearly enjoying being teased during sacred guitar time.

sillybutt

This one seems pretty self-explanatory. It amazes me that after over four months of living together, he still manages to put the hugest smile on my face when he walks through the door. He's the only person in the world who can match my ridiculous, goofy sense of humor and makes every day with him more fun than the one before!

insight

I'm the world's biggest know-it-all. I'm stubborn and am reluctant to listen to advice from anyone. So it comes as a shock to me that every time I'm stressing out, confused or angry Chuck uses his mental ninja skills to read my mind and come up with the absolute perfect thing to say to me. His insight is almost spooky sometimes, but I'm so lucky he understands me as well as he does.

love

Above all else, Chuck has only just begun to teach me what it truly means to love a person. His love for me has honestly given me a better understanding of Christ's unconditional love. He is sweet, romantic and my best friend in the world.

Happy Birthday Boo!

You are, without a doubt, my biggest blessing.

To share your Sunday Blessings, grab a button above and link up below!

Happy Birthday IJM!

I tend to try to keep things on this blog personal and light-hearted. Superficial, even, sometimes. This week, however, is the 15th birthday of, in my mind, one of the greatest humanitarian organizations in existence today, International Justice Mission. So without further ado, allow me to celebrate!

I first learned of International Justice Mission my freshman year at Eastern University. As a part of our introductory freshman curriculum we read a book written by IJM's founder, Gary Haugen, entitled The Good News About Injustice. The book began as he recounted the horrors he witnessed as he stood surrounded by the slain bodies of Rwandan victims as the U.S. Department of Justice's Genocide Investigator. He sat on a bus en route to his job days later looking around at his fellow passengers and thinking, "Excuse me, friends, but did you know that less than forty-eight hours ago I was standing in the middle of several thousand corpses in a muddy mass grave in a tiny African country called Rwanda?"

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Gary (yeah, I like to think we're on a first name basis) was soon challenged with how to reconcile what he'd witnessed with the suburban comforts of his own life. And so he courageously embarked upon a journey to found International Justice Mission.

For those who don't know, IJM is a faith-based human rights agency whose aim is to bring justice to victims of slavery, sexual exploitation and other forms of violent oppression. They work with local governments to bring slave owners to justice, they send undercover investigators into brothels to release young girls forced into prostitution and they provide counseling and after-care to help the rescued assume a happy, healthy life.

The success stories that come out of IJM's work are unbelievable and with that in mind I decided I wanted to be a part of it. The summer following my semester abroad, one of my best friends and I decided we were going to head our campus' chapter of IJM. We led weekly meetings filled with prayer about IJM's casework, we organized fundraisers with 100% of proceeds directly benefiting the organization and we organized a trip to IJM's 2010 Global Prayer Gathering.

Gary Haugen and I at the 2010 Global Prayer Gathering. I was completely starstruck!

Ultimately, we both felt so fortunate to bless IJM in even the smallest ways that we were able. But the reality was, we were far more blessed just to be involved with them.

If you'd like to learn more about IJM, visit their website here. And if you feel you have 5 minutes to spare I'd really encourage you to watch this video celebrating IJM's 15 years and making plans for an amazing 15 more.

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I have so many things to blog about, but very little time! With one 20-page research paper to finish until my semester is over, it's game time. So, in the spirit of simplicity, I've decided to link-up this week to share...

I'm loving...that school is nearly over! I requested The Hunger Games trilogy from my local library and have no plans but reading those books and soaking up the beautiful spring weather one week from now.

I'm loving...that hubs and I are finally making the trip to Ohio next weekend! I haven't sat in a pub listening to awesome local music with my best friends in entirely too long. I can't wait!

I'm loving...that yesterday when I locked my keys in my car at the gas station a kind, random stranger and a conveniently timed AAA-guy were able to get my car unlocked free of charge. I was on the verge of tears and don't know what I would've done without their help.

I'm loving...that my tomato seeds sprouted overnight! 

I'm loving... the ridiculous emails she sends me. The constant support that she gives me. The financial help that she's given both of us. I love my Mommy!

Thanks to Jamie at This Kind of Love for hosting this weekly link-up. Glad I finally decided to jump on-board!

Easter Sunday Blessings {Link-Up}

I apologize in advance because this post has enormous potential to be a little lengthy. But there's a lot to be grateful for on this Easter Sunday!

Before I begin counting my blessings, I have to provide some background for my timely Jesus high. Yesterday afternoon, my hubs was inspired to watch the film, Hotel Rwanda. I haven't watched it since my time in Rwanda nearly three years ago and frankly still don't feel like I have the strength to. I waited for his tears to subside and opened myself up to him as we discussed the horrors of what he'd just witnessed. 

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I was overcome. I don't often talk about my time in Rwanda. Uganda, sure. But Rwanda was something of a jarring, overwhelming and sacred experience all wrapped into one. I tried to hold it together but at the reminder of everything I witnessed three years ago, I broke into hysterical sobs. I recounted for him the images of children who were slashed to death in their mother's arms, the feeling of being surrounded by thousands of skulls of people who were murdered during the genocide and the feelings of helplessness and heartbreak having listened to firsthand accounts of the terror in 1994.

We wondered aloud how our government, other Western governments and the governments of Rwanda's neighbors could have stood back and watched this travesty take place. How could we neglect innocent women and children? How could we allow such a mass amount of suffering to take place on our watch?

Witnessing such hurt is what continues to drive me in my career pursuits. As beautiful reflections of God, children should never have to experience such suffering. I admitted my frustration that I have such passion for healing the hurt in this world, but feel so useless and helpless. Chuck reminded me of what God continues to teach me, we cannot change the world by ourselves. But because of our faith in Jesus we can slowly change the world by small acts of love and kindness. It is my faith in Jesus which tells me that there is hope. That the world in which we live in, is not as it should be. That there is potential for the world to be a better place.

And isn't that what Easter is all about? Hope. Jesus' sacrifice for me, for us, was the ultimate expression of love. He has shown us what love looks like. He has shown us that there is hope for a better world. Because of his sacrifice, I have been given this opportunity to love, to hope and to leave this world a better place than when I entered it.

So with this amazing insight in mind, without further ado, here are my (Easter) Sunday Blessings...

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friends

As I drove to work early this morning, I listened to a Christian mix CD an old friend made for me eons ago. I recalled the times in Youth Group together and how I felt as a reborn Christian. My friends old and new have continued to bless me with their presence in my life and continue to help me to grow in my faith. They are all expressions of love in my life.

family

My sister and I spent the longest time together this past week than we probably have in years. As we get older, distance separates us, but our love is as great as ever. Chuck's parents also stayed with us for a night. (It was a full house!) I am so blessed by them and continue to thank God that He has given me such godly, kind and loving in-laws.

Jesus

And of course, where would I be without my Savior? Jesus saved my life. Not just in the usual "I am saved from eternal damnation" kind of way. But He saved me from a dangerous home, from being overcome by depression, from living a lonely and loveless life. His radical expression of love for me continues to humble and overwhelm me. I only hope that as I journey on in my life, I can radiate His love in everything I do.

Happy Easter everyone! 

Be sure to grab a button and link-up so I can read all about Jesus' love in your life!

Hoppy Easter!

I've spent the last week living it up with my baby sister while she stays with us over her Spring Break. All our fabulous touristy plans have not completely panned out, but we've been soaking up the rare time together. Yesterday, we spent the afternoon at the Andy Warhol Museum. Kelly's an Art History major so she was schooling me on all things pop art. 

Kelly posing in the lobby of the Andy Warhol museum.

We headed to the Strip District to take in all the little shops and the Pittsburgh Public Market. I now feel like I'm one step closer to being a genuine Pittsburghian now that I've been to the Strip District!

Upon our return to our pad, we pigged out on boiled egg sandwiches, watched some How I Met Your Mother and waited for Chuck and his parents (who also came into town to visit) to return home so we could enjoy dinner out on the town as a group. I should also mention that "dinner" is code for shwastey-pants. Feeling fairly tipsy and having come down with a serious case of the giggles, we decided 12 AM was as good a time as any to dye Easter eggs. Things got crazy...

Stay tuned for a more coherent account of sister time when I'm not trying to function after an unintentional all-nighter. I'll also share my more sentimental, less superficial Easter thoughts tomorrow. Until then...

Happy Easter everyone!

Sunday Blessings XI

I was trying to figure out a way to commemorate this wonderful April Fools' Day, but alas, I'm not much of a practical joker so I'll stick to things I am good at: counting my blessings.

family

My sister safely arrived last night to stay with us for a week. This girl is my mini-me and best friend in the world. It's so wonderful to have this time together as we've gotten older and and distance continues to drive us apart as we pursue our separate ambitions. She's considering grad school in Pittsburgh and there have been discussions of possibly living together once she does, so this is going to be our trial run. *Fingers crossed.*

work

I found out this past week that I'm not eligible for financial aid for the summer semester. I could honestly use a mental vacation and a little more time to focus on all things wedding so this could be a blessing in disguise. However, this also means that I need to find a summer job! While I'm anxious about securing a position that pays more than minimum wage, I will  never take for granted the fact that I am currently employed (albeit part-time) and have a fiance with a secure full-time position.

school

Two big research papers separate me from the end of my second semester of graduate school! Let's do this.

jesus

I'd found myself in a funk the last couple weeks and I couldn't quite place the root of it. I've come to figure out I think the missing link was Jesus. I have a very poor habit of distracting myself with the meaningless and mundane stresses of the world and putting my spiritual life on the back burner. Fortunately, for me, Jesus is always there waiting patiently when I have enough insight to return to the comfort of His embrace. I've started trying to be more disciplined in my prayers and am ready to repair the relationship which I have been so quick to neglect. I am so blessed that He is always forgiving, always caring, always loving.

What blessings have been present in your life? Grab a button on my Faith page and link-up below!

Have a blessed Palm Sunday everyone!