11.15.2011

Anything but Love

Last night I had a long overdue conversation with one of my best friends. I went on about work, grad school, and of course, wedding planning. I caught myself gushing about my hubs and just sat there smiling at how much I've changed in the last year. We both remarked that if someone had told me a year ago I'd be where I am now, I probably would've told them to shut up.

On the one hand, I can't believe I've turned into the girl my cynical self used to mock and berate. On the other, I don't care in the least because 1) I'm happier than I've ever been and 2) I fell in love with my soulmate when I never thought I would. Those who know us together have attested to witnessing our compatiblity and the love we have for each other. I've found that those who don't however, seem skeptical and attribute our relationship to young, recklessness.

While her statement was not at all ill-intentioned, my friend commented that she and another friend had placed bets that I would be pregnant right after we were married or even before. She had every reason to say this: Chuck and I have been talking about our inevitable big-headed, ginger babies for months. But I was kind of hurt when I detected that her statement may have been made out of a belief that I was going into this commitment recklessly with no sort of rationale or regard to things outside my relationship.

I am, without a doubt, spontaneous and free-spirited. I'm indecisive and change my life's plan every week. I can see why anyone might assume that I'm rushing into this union. Maybe they're right. But I am not apologetic. I spent my entire life believing that I was unworthy and undeserving of love. When I found someone whose love for me was so great that it left me with a better understanding of God's unconditional love- there was no way I was letting it go.

I have no plans to get preggo any time soon. I am ambitious, intelligent and determined to succeed. I don't want to do anything that might jeopardize my career or the stability of my family. However, if we were to have an unexpected pregnancy, we would joyously welcome that baby into our lives. Whenever we decide to make little day-walkers, those babies will be the most blessed bundles of joy. They will know of the love of God, the love their parents have for each other and the love their Mommy and Daddy have for them.

Life is too short to do anything but love.

2 comments:

  1. Your insight never ceases to amaze me. I'm sure Chuck has received many, "Are you SURE?" statements too...after all, he is the youngest Stuckert so far to make a commitment (other than me and I was only 18...you can only imagine the comments I received!). However, I have learned, first from experience and then from observation, that every once in a while a young person (or two in this case)can have the clarity and maturity of someone much older than their years. I believe this comes from God's wisdom, which knows no age or limit. Wisdom is the result of applied knowledge. The greatest knowledge is God and His Word. You know Him, you learn His desire for your life and you apply it. It has no age requirement. It just requires TRUST, which many people do not gain until they have lived a long time.
    You and Chuck will have more years to enjoy each other because you came to this knowledge at a young age. That is why Loren and I are so EXCITED for you & Chuck. 38 years later, I have never regretted my choice, nor has he. As the plaque in our bedroom says, "One Lifetime is Not Long Enough!" CELEBRATE! :)

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  2. I'm ready for love! ew baby I'm ready for love!;)
    <3

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