11 Months as Mommy

If you haven't noticed, there's been some serious radio silence around these parts. It's not that I've been any busier lately, but my blogging motivation continually ebbs and flows, and right now I'm in the midst of an ebb. I did want to make sure I documented Charlie's 11 month birthday, however! Since this guy turned a whopping 11 months on Thanksgiving this year, I'm a little late to the game on this post!

WORK

No real change here. Still working 5 days/40 hours a week and chugging merrily along. November is my busiest month because on top of my already insane workload, I have to host an annual event for around 200 people. Charlie came into work with me the day before the event since I had to work past his bedtime and he did so well. He hung out in my ErgoBaby carrier as I set out tablecloths and arranged nametags and was happy as  clam. Such a relief!

BREASTFEEDING

We're still hanging in, although barely. I am literally counting down the days until I can light my breastpump on fire and watch it burn to ash. Was that a little too intense? Probably, but that's pretty much where I'm at now. My plan is to transition Charlie to drinking cow's milk during the day when he's with his Aunt and then I'll continue to breastfeed in the morning when he wakes up and at bedtime.

BABY FAT

It's ridiculous that this is even a category. No progress here, though my Hubby deserves some major praise- he's been hitting the gym hard for about the last 2 months and has already lost 8 lbs. Proud wifey status!

As for Charlie...

Because we were at my Mom's house for Thanksgiving and this was literally the best picture we got. 

MILESTONES

You name it, he's probably doing it. He figured out how to pull himself up to standing and our life has been chaos ever since. Everything is fair game for this little minion- my nightstand, his bookshelf...the toilet! This kid is developing some serious, independent, strong-will. And Mommy is TIRED.

Not only is this kid way more mobile, but he's finally teething! Just in the last week we noticed two little teefers breaking their way through his bottom gums. My poor sweet baby is much more irritable and clingy than usual, but I'll take all the snugs I can get because they're getting increasingly rare!

FAMILY

We made our second 10-hour trek to Upstate New York for Thanksgiving with my side of the family. Charlie loved hanging out with his Grandma and Aunt Kelly...and Mommy and Daddy loved the free babysitting. The only downside was that we discovered Charlie really doesn't sleep very well when he's away from home, so we left with everyone feeling pretty darn exhausted.

STATS

He hasn't been weighed since his  9-month appointment, so based on his growth, I'm going to estimate he's somewhere between 16-17 lbs. Still a peanut!

He's still wearing Size 3 diapers and his clothes are completely across the board. I usually have him in 12-month onesies and jammies (his 12-month sleepers are long on him, but the 9-month ones are too short- what's a Mommy to do?!). Pants are always a struggle. He still has some 6-9 month boy pants that he wears, but mostly I just stick him in 12-month girls' leggings because that's all that will fit his skinny little waist!

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Next update will be 12 months! I can hardly believe my baby won't be a baby much longer!

On Blogging vs. Writing and BIG MAGIC

Last week, I whizzed through the audiobook of Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic in two days. Granted, it was only 4 CDs, but still. I couldn't get enough. I feel as though Gilbert is a very polarizing author. I know some people who were utterly disappointed with Eat Pray Love and some who have read every single one of her books and think she is magical. I am in the latter camp. So I was essentially predisposed to love Big Magic, but I also didn't want a wishy-washy, self-help book filled with stupid cliches about following your dreams. Thankfully, that was not at all what I got.

For my fellow writing friends, I LOVED this book. Feeling inspired to step away from the keyboard and adoring cyber fans (sarcasm), and put pen to paper for the first time in way too long. :) #bigmagic #notjustablogger

A photo posted by Kaity Bee (@beeautifulblessings) on Nov 5, 2015 at 4:44pm PST

Big Magic really got me thinking more deeply about my writing. About what I am willing to sacrifice to pursue my craft. About what my motivations are for writing. But mostly, about what is keeping me back from really, truly writing (as opposed to blogging). I started this blog almost seven years ago. SEVEN YEARS. It has served me well. It has been my outlet to document my life's beautiful journey. It has been an easy way to keep writing with limited time and energy. But I also wonder if it has held me back. I've spent seven years of my life writing for an audience. Writing in one style and one tone of voice. I have spent seven years writing in a format that is sustained by the validation of others. And that just seems like a recipe for disaster. I don't feel that my writing has improved in those seven years and I don't think this format has allowed me to grow or be challenged. I don't want to sound ungrateful or that I don't still enjoy blogging, because I really and truly do. But I do wonder if I need to explore other avenues to pursue my passion and live out my most creative life.

I haven't yet arrived at a conclusion. I have thought about journaling more. I have a journal that hasn't been touched in years. I've thought about writing letters. Perhaps a goal to write a letter to a person in my life every week. Some letters, I would send. Some I might seal in an envelope and never look at again. Of all the ideas I've tossed around in my mind, the recurring theme is this- I need to write for myself. I need to write with discipline. And I need to write without the expectation of feedback. I don't want the opinions of others (good and bad) to sway the direction my writing takes or determine who I am as a writer. In her book, Gilbert makes the stinction between pursuing creative endeavors fearlessly versus bravely. It would be impossible for me to approach writing without fear. Fear that my writing is just plain bad. Fear that other people won't like it. Fear that I have nothing original to say. There are a million and one things to feel scared and vulnerable about. But I want to be brave.

I want to write because I need to.

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What are your thoughts on writing vs. blogging? Do you have any ideas on how I can start writing outside of the blogosphere?

10 Months as Mommy

I've slowly started transitioning from #babypep to #charmingcharlie on Instagram, because my baby isn't going to be a baby much longer! Every single stinking cliche is true: the minutes are long, the months are short.

WORK

I officially started back at 5 days/week. For the last several months, I've had the ability to work a half day from home on Mondays, but no more. Sad face for me. It's been hard. But I really wasn't expecting it not to be. I miss Charlie. I'm exhausted, and my house is a mess. But I'm giving myself a lot of grace to just do what I can and not giving myself a massive guilt trip every time I fall short in one or more realms of my life.

BREASTFEEDING

Remember how last month I said I was soooo done with pumping? Yeah, not quite. Try as I might (and when I say "I," I really mean Charlie's aunt who watches him while I'm at work), this kid will not drink formula. It was stressful for me. It was stressful for Aunt Ashlee, and I'm guessing it was stressful for Charlie who kept being offered some artificial-tasting stuff when all he wanted was some boob juice. So, I decided I was just going to keep at it until we can officially transition him to cow's milk. I've been popping Fenugreek supplements and drinking Mother's Milk tea like it's my job, and it's actually been working. I'm still only pumping enough for the following day and not a drop more, but that's all we really need at this point, so we're going with it!

BABY FAT

No change. Still going on walks in the evenings whenever I can, but I'm a little worried about how sedentary I'm doomed to be once the cold weather hits. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get some use out of that gym membership once and for all!

As for Charlie...

MILESTONES

We've got a crawler on our hands and holy cow- I cannot keep up with this kid! He is constantly wanting to move, crawl, and explore. Which is cute and fun to watch, until he climbs off the edge of the bed, or bashes his head off a chair. He's wearing us out! Charlie also went trick-or-treating for the first time. No candy for this little one, but we had a ton of fun going around to the local, downtown businesses with him and his cousins.

#lillucie and #charmingcharlie = done with this whole #trickortreat nonsense. #babypep #9monthsold #downtowntrickortreat #cousins #stuckertbabies #mainstreetwilmington

A photo posted by Kaity Bee (@beeautifulblessings) on Oct 24, 2015 at 11:40am PDT

He's not consistently eating grown-up food, but nearly everything we offer him off our plates, he gobbles right up! I made pork chops with cinnamon apples last week, which he loved and he had some shredded chicken when we went pumpkin picking two weekends ago that he packed away! He's still not a big eater, but we're making tortoise-like progress each week. His absolute favorite food, however, is his Stonyfield baby yogurt. No product placement, I swear- he really does love the stuff! I'm so glad we've found something that he'll eat a lot of!

FAMILY

Not too much newness in the family department except for spending a lot more time with Aunt Ashlee and cousin Lucie!

STATS

He hasn't been weighed since his  9-month appointment, so based on his growth, I'm going to estimate he's somewhere between 15-16 lbs. Still a shrimp!

He's still wearing Size 3 diapers and is mostly in 12-month clothing, save for a handful of lengthier onesies.

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I ordered his first birthday invitations a few weeks ago and am already starting to plan. It's so hard to believe I'm about to become a toddler mom!

30 Before 30

This past April, I turned 27. I don't know why, but 27 just felt so much older than 26. So much closer to 30. I don't think 30 is "old," but I still mentally feel like a 16 year old girl so it just doesn't seem real that I'm a full-fledged grown-up. I have a husband, a baby, a house, and yet I just feel like I'm playing a game of "house." I can't be old enough to have all those things!

Despite the fact that I feel like I can't possibly be nearing 30, the fact remains, I'm literally 30 months from turning 30 today. Goals and bucket lists have never really been a strong point, but I'm doing it anyway. I'm giving myself 30 things to accomplish in the next 30 months:

1. Take an international trip | I don't care where- Germany, Ireland, Thailand, or maybe even Jamaica 2.0. My only requirements are that it's not in the U.S. and that I have my handsome hubby by my side.

2. Read fifty books in a year | My all-time record was 47 books in 2014. Can I beat it?! 

3. Submit a grant proposal | One of my professional goals has been to gain some experience in grant writing. I've done a very small amount of studying in my spare time, but have a long way to go before I feel like I'm ready to tackle the challenge of actually submitting a proposal. If I can complete one in this time, I will feel so incredibly accomplished.

4. Get my third (and fourth?) tattoo | I have a tattoo that I've been wanting to get for years now, but I just can't justify spending the money when we've had so much else going on in our life! 

5. Take a kayak trip | I have literally never stepped foot in a kayak. This needs to change, stat.

6. Pay off a student loan | My student loan debt is out of control, so I'm trying to be realistic with this goal. If I can pay off just one loan before I hit 30, I will probably cry tears of joy.

7. Live with my sister | This probably sounds super weird, but my baby sister is my favorite person in the whole wide world (husbands don't count). She graduates from grad school in the spring and I feel like it's our last possible opportunity in our lives to live together one last time. We've got two extra bedrooms in our new house and Chuck is on-board, so I'm praying Kelly will finally make my dream come true and come stay with us, even if it's just for a few weeks.

8. Visit a new state |  Top of my list? Colorado and Montana. Rocky Mountains, I'm coming for you.

9. Grow my blog | I don't want to record a definitive number, because I don't ever want my blog to cease being a source of joy in my life, and start feeling like a job. But if I'm being honest, I would love to have more people come follow along on my journey.

10. Volunteer more | Again, I'm not placing a specific number of times, etc. But I've really been feeling convicted about this lately. For someone who wants to leave the world a better place, the only good I feel like I do is the work I get paid to do. In my profession, I interact with so many amazing people who give hours, days, weeks of their lives to serving their communities. It's so inspiring and I want to start paying it forward.

11. Attend regular yoga classes | If my former cheerleader self knew how inflexible I've become, she would be so, so ashamed. 

12. Finish designing and decorating one room in our house | My hope is that every room in our house will be decorated to my liking in two and a half years, but I'm setting the bar low. I'm planning lots of posts about my design inspiration in the near future- owning a house is so exciting (minus the crickets, leaky plumbing, and windowless bedroom, but that's a story for another day!)

13. Learn a new skill | The possibilities on this are endless. I want to learn to can and preserve, how to sew, how to play a musical instrument, how to build things. If I can summon the motivation, patience and energy to learn one new skill by the time I'm 30, I will be so proud of myself. 

14. Baby Pep 2.0 | Surprise, surprise. I've already talked about my baby fever, so does it come as any surprise that I'm totally hoping to add another little one to our brood?

15. Do something BIG for our 5th anniversary | Whether it's taking a trip, renewing our vows, or throwing a party, I want to celebrate five years of marriage in style!

16. Open up a college savings account for Charlie | Honestly, I should have done this 9 months ago. 

17. Have a girls' weekend | I want to have a weekend with my girl(s). No babies. No husband. Just me and my bestie(s)...and probably some booze.

18. Invest in a DSLR | I don't want my child's entire childhood to be captured on a grainy cell phone camera. I want to buy an actual decent camera, and figure out how the heck to use it.

19. Run a half marathon | This is potentially my most lofty goal. It is sooo much harder than I was anticipating to get back into running with a little one. But I finished a Quarter Marathon, and I know that if I really disciplined myself and trained hard, I could totally do it.

20. Finish Charlie's baby book | Okay, so maybe not technically finish it, since he'll only be three when I turn 30 and will still have some milestones yet to go, but I've been slacking on keeping up with it, so I want to make sure I have his first year done, if nothing else, before I start forgetting all these beautiful memories!

21. Do a Wine & Canvas night | They look like so much fun! I want to drink and paint!!!

22. Attend a game | Ideally, a Reds or Bengals game, but I'm not choosy.

23. Visit Frankie's grave | Two years ago, a wonderful friend of mine was killed in Afghanistan and is now buried in Arlington National Cemetary. I wasn't able to be there for his service, and I've been wanting to finally say a proper goodbye and pay my respects to the man who was my pretend big brother. 

24. Plant a backyard garden | For those who may not know, for the last five years, my life has kind of revolved around gardening. It has been a large part of two of my jobs, and I've container gardened nearly everywhere we've lived. But I have never had my own garden. I am so pumped to finally change this.

25. Dye my hair a fun color | I am so envious of all the girls with their pastel, ombre, colorful dye-jobs. I'd like to mix it up and try something new, just for kicks!

26. Go to King's Island |  For the non-Ohioans, KI is a local amusement park that I have never been to. This may not sound like a big deal, but as a self-described roller coaster nut, it totally is.

27. Wear my wedding dress again | I specifically bought my wedding dress so that I could wear it again one day. But there was one problem with this plan: I don't want to wear my wedding dress just anywhere! If I have an excuse to wear it again, I would really, really love to. (December 19, 2015)

28. Get promoted | I don't even know if this is possible in my current position, but I never want to feel like my career is stagnant. I always want to feel like I'm growing, being challenged, and advancing. 

29. Attend a book signing | I will never forgive myself for wussing out on attending Glennon Doyle Melton's book signing for Carry On, Warrior when she was FIVE MINUTES AWAY from my Pittsburgh apartment. Here's hoping I can redeem myself.

30. Give my husband 3,000 kisses | He deserves every one.

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What are some of your pre-30 goals?

Travel Bucket List: Europe

About a million years ago, I published a couple posts about the top places on my Travel Bucket List starting with the good ol' USA and Africa. Today, I'm daydreaming and wanderlusting over my top European travel destinations:

BERLIN & MUNICH, GERMANY

Because a rich history, good beer and great food aren't enough- both Chuck and I have a shared German heritage and I would love to connect with our grandparents and great-grandparents' homeland.

DUBLIN, IRELAND

If there's one place my husband would choose to travel to, it would be Ireland. He is obsessed with the lush green landscape and castles. Growing up, my Mom loved Irish culture and immersed us in Irish step dancing lessons, Irish movies and always made a big deal of St. Paddy's day. Dublin is a place on the top of my list, and I could use a little luck o' the Irish!

AMSTERDAM, THE NETHERLANDS

Upon my return home from Uganda, I had a several hour-long layover in Amsterdam and regret that I wasn't able to venture out and take in this gorgeous city. I would love to peruse the canals and visit the Anne Frank house. I've only heard good things about Amsterdam!

CRETE & SANTORINI, GREECE

I mean...really. From what I've seen there's virtually no place in the world that even compares to the white-washed homes, and crystal blue waters of the Greek isles. Not to mention the food. Oh, the food.

STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN

This photo was actually taken by my blogger crush, Katie. Check out her recent trip to Stockholm, here.

Scandinavia is on the very top of my list. I mean, these are the happiest people in the world, after all! Although, I've heard that it's among the most expensive travel destinations, it just looks so darn fun and picturesque! It's also a dream of mine to hop over to Copenhagen and eat at the world famous, Noma!

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Have you been to any of my top European destinations? Travel tips and must-see items are always appreciated!