Thursday, April 30, 2015

#tbt: Four Months Sober (April 30, 2014)


Because I currently can't get it together to post new content, why not give a second life to some of my archived posts? 

Ironically, this post was written a year ago today. I was four months sober (and also 4 weeks pregnant!)

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Back in December, I wrote about my "resolution" to abstain from alcohol for awhile. I don't make really make New Years' resolutions, but I was making a commitment that happened to coincide with the New Year. It's been four months since New Years' eve and I haven't been under the influence since. That isn't to say a drop of alcohol hasn't touched my lips since then, but I think the most I've had is a half a beer since I cut out the cocktails.

And you know what? I don't miss it.

I had several reasons for my choice:

 1. For me, alcohol = truth serum. For good and for bad. I have no filter when I drink, which can be a good thing because I'm not someone who normally just blurts out what's on my mind. But nobody takes a drunk, emotional Kaity seriously. And that bothered me. I want the words that come out of my mouth to matter. 

2. I began to figure out that the setting for my binge-drinking was always the same: in a large group of people. I realized that this was no coincidence, I was drinking in these scenarios because I was uncomfortable. I have minor social anxiety and don't do well in big crowds of people, so in these instances, alcohol was a coping mechanism. I was drinking to function. Which I didn't like. I don't want to drink because I feel like I have to.

3. Hangovers. I am not someone who handles alcohol well. My husband, can knock 12 beers back in a night and be up and at 'em the next morning. Me? I have two and am sick as a dog the next day. Whatever fun I may have had the night before was totally not worth the wasted day after.


I've never been a huge drinker anyway (well, except for that one summer in college...), but ridding myself of the stuff altogether has been a great relief for me. 

I may be the wet blanket, sober friend. But hey, it beats being the drunk girl who cries at everything!

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