Monday, July 7, 2014

Catching Up: 5 Weeks


Written April 23, 2014

Baby Peppercorn (as we’re affectionately calling you based on your size),

We’ve known about you for just five days now and it still seems surreal. I feel like virtually the least maternal woman on the planet and am scared about my inadequacies as a possible parent. “Scared” is a pretty good descriptor of where I’m at now. Daddy and I were planning to wait to start making little ones until we were more financially stable, but apparently God had other plans. I know that I never would have felt “ready” so perhaps it’s better this way. Our little surprise J

I called an OB/GYN office near work that has a midwife on staff. Honestly, pregnancy fascinates me so I’d been doing my research long before Daddy and I found out about you. I like the idea of natural birth- just have no idea if I have the pain tolerance to pull it off! The appointment isn’t until May 19 which seems like an eternity away. It’s impossible to focus on anything when I have no idea what’s going on in my little bloated tummy.

I’m also a little concerned about my upcoming Quarter Marathon next weekend. I’ve been training for two months and don’t want to overexert myself. The experts say as long as I keep hydrated you and I will be safe so I’m trying to reassure myself.

One of these days, I’ll be happy and excited and gleeful as I await your arrival. But for now, I have to be honest, I feel so incapable and undeserving of being your Mama. I hope I don’t let you down, little one.

Love,
Mommy


4 comments:

  1. Awwww! Look at that teeny little bump!
    (And seriously, lady, you're going to rock this!)

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  2. Awwww CONGRATS!!! Can't wait to hear more about baby!

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  3. This is so cute! Can't wait till you're all caught up on these. Are y'all hoping for a particular gender? Also, there was a girl in the news recently who ran a marathon at 8 months, so I know it's possible if your doctor gives you the okay. :)
    yay for babies!
    Lauren
    1sweetfairytale.blogspot.com

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