|This pretty much sums up our feelings about this month.|
The last couple weeks have seen very little activity on this blog, and it's likely that this trend may continue for a while longer. The truth is, life is exhausting at the moment. Work has kicked into high gear as we prepare for the crazy busy summer months. Finances have still got us down. Last weekend, we traveled 15 hours round trip to help my Mom and step-dad as they prepare to close on their house. We've barely had a spare second to stop and relax and our poor house has been left seriously neglected.
In the midst of all this chaos, I've been in...a less than ideal mood. I don't want to be grumpy- I've just felt so overwhelmed. And if I'm being honest, Chuck was beginning to get on my nerves as he continued to remind me of how we couldn't afford to make the trip to see my family last week. I didn't need the reminder- I knew it was not a great choice. But I wanted to help my family as best I could, and I just gosh-darn missed them!
So yesterday, when we found ourselves in the midst of a financial pickle, Chuck brought it up again and I broke down. I didn't need to feel worse than I already did about the situation because I knew he was right. There was a lot of underlying emotion that I wasn't even aware of buried under the guilt of his continued reminders. I had a good, hearty sob session and I admitted to him that my desire to see my family likely clouded my judgment. I feel like sometimes he forgets that we're in his hometown, not mine. My closest friends and/or family are eight hours away. As I explained to him, 90% of the time I'm completely fine with being an independent spirit who doesn't need physical proximity to remain close to my loved ones, but 10% of the time, I'm not. There's no telling when that 10% is going to hit me, and when it does, it hits me hard.
|Road trippin' to Upstate New York!|
Once I got done pouring out my soul to him and consequently making him feel awful, I told him he was right to feel the way he did. If the situation were reversed and it was his family that needed help moving I would have adamantly opposed coming to their aid if our finances didn't allow it. To which Chuck responded, you wouldn't have just opposed it, we wouldn't have gone because
"You wear the pants and I have a little pocket that I can put my hand in sometimes."
And at that moment- I laughed harder than I've laughed in a very long time. I pride myself in the fact that I feel like Chuck and I have a pretty egalitarian relationship, but when push comes to shove, I know who wears the pants. And to hear that Chuck was well-aware of the owner of the pants, as well, put a much-needed, ear-to-ear smile on my face.
Our life isn't always easy. We get on each other's nerves. We argue. But never for one second do I regret the commitment I made in September of 2012, because my man can always, always make me smile.