18 Goals in 2018 | 2nd Quarter Check-In

My mind is completely blown right now that the year is already halfway over. It really does feel like I just posted my 18 Goals for 2018 after the New Year. Considering time has flown these past few months, I'm actually pretty impressed with my progress so far. Here's what I've accomplished since my last check-in in March!

PROFESSIONAL

1. Obtain a job that allows me to incorporate my blogging experience. COMPLETE! (June 2018) | Okay, so blogging is completely irrelevant to my new job, but I'm back to work full-time and loving it so I'm crossing this one off the list!

READING

1. Read 42 books (20/42). In progress. May and June were absolutely insane, so I didn't read a thing. My recent(ish) favorites were Jesus Feminist and The Very Worst Missionary.
2. Read 3 books published before 2000 (3/3). COMPLETE! It probably would have been a bit more impressive if 2/3 of my books weren't Harry Potter, but hey, I met my goal!
3. Re-read the entire Harry Potter series (4/7). In progress. For whatever reason, I decided to re-read the series completely out of order so I still have Prisoner of Azkaban, Goblet of Fire, and the Deathly Hallows left before I can check this one off my list.

FINANCIAL

1. Pay off a credit card (1/3). In progress. Chuck paid off one of his cards in April and we're getting closer every day to paying off our remaining two.
2. Pay off medical bills from Crosby's birth (0/3). In progress. We're slowly making a dent in one, but none are paid in full...yet!
3. Complete our household budget every month (6/12). In progress. I haven't been good about following the zero-based budget spreadsheet on a monthly basis. However, I created a new system for paying bills that has proved really helpful and I've been very carefully monitoring our debt repayment progress, so I'm counting this one as a win.

BLOGGING

2017 was a phenomenal year for this little blog of mine. Somehow, I made over $2,500 and I'd really like to see if I can beat that in 2018.

1. Earn over $2,500 from my blog. In progress. I likely won't be taking on a ton more sponsored blog opportunities now that I'm gainfully employed, so I highly doubt this one will get check off the list this year.
2. Have a post receive 5000+ pageviews. COMPLETE! (May 2018) | How We're Getting Ready for Summer with Goldfish Swim School got a lot of play when I posted in April! I would love it if somebody made the choice to go with Goldfish for swim lessons because of my little ol' blog!
3. Meet another blogger friend in real life. Nothing yet!
4. Hit 1,000 Facebook and Instagram followers (581/1000 and 705/1000). In progress. I've actually lost several followers since my 3-month check-in, but that could be because I stopped religiously posting new content. After my marketing job ended at the end of May, I've been ready to take a nice, long break from social media. I'm not doing any kind of formal "fast," but I'm not on it nearly as much as I used to and I think I'm happier for it.

HEALTH

1. Run a half marathon. In progress. Training has been going really well. I ran my first-ever 10 mile run in May!! I've decided which race I'm doing (next month!! eek!), I just haven't registered yet. #Procrastinator

HOME

1. Paint and finish decorating our master bedroom. In progress. I have a lot of my decor, but the painting still needs to happen!
2. Install railing on our front porch. 
3. Paint and finish decorating our living room. COMPLETE! (April 2018) | There are little things here and there that I'd still like to add or change, but I got our living room to a place where I'm really content with it. Check out my Living Room tour!

TRAVEL

1. Take the boys to Sesame Place or Planet Snoopy.
2. Have a kid-free weekend getaway. 
3. Have a girls' weekend for my 30th birthday. COMPLETE! (May 2018) | One of my college besties had her bachelorette party in Ocean City, NJ the weekend after my birthday, so I bought myself a plane ticket and enjoyed an absolutely fantastic girls weekend! Check out My 30th Birthday + Laura's Bachelorette Party recap!

2nd QUARTER GOALS COMPLETED: 5

TOTAL GOALS COMPLETED: 5

On Bittersweet Changes (Round 2)

A year and a half ago, I published a post entitled On Bittersweet Changes about my decision to leave the nonprofit job I had loved for three years to become a stay-at-home Mom to Charlie and newborn baby Crosby. In the last 1.5 years, I've side hustled and tried to make this blog profitable, I went back to my former employer in a seasonal, part-time position, I started working part-time managing my local farmers' market, and I took on another part-time job working with one of my best friends doing marketing for a small, local nonprofit. Three weeks ago, I bid adieu to the side hustling, stay-at-home Mom season and said hello again to the full-time working Mom season.

I am once again a full-time working Mama and I couldn't be happier about the change. Although leaving my good friend behind was definitely bitter, it was a necessary evil for this sweet new season we've ushered in.

So, what is the new job? Before I share about my new role, I want to explain a little bit about the journey that brought me to here.

Before I became a stay-at-home Mom, I diligently and relentlessly worked on our budget down to the last cent to make sure we could feasibly afford to become a one-income family. We knew it would be tight, but nothing could have prepared us for the financial hit we would take just a month or two after I quit my job. Unfortunately, I can't share more than that, but suffice it to say that the income we were counting on was suddenly not there and we were completely screwed.

I started taking on sponsored blog opportunities, Chuck started washing dishes in the evenings at a local restaurant, I started working part-time gigs, and we even applied for food assistance through the WIC program to make sure we had groceries on our shelves (and I'll be honest, there were months where I don't know what we would have done without WIC). Even with all of that part-time supplemental income, we still weren't doing well. We fell behind on bills and loans. We had debt collectors calling us non-stop, and at our lowest point, Chuck's car was repossessed (we got it back).

Obviously, it's not easy to admit any of these things. It fills me with a deep sense of shame that things got as bad as they did for us financially. But if there's one thing you know about me from this blog, it's that I'm an open book. It doesn't occur to me to be dishonest or blatantly omit certain truths. I am sharing the painful, vulnerable, real truth about how messed up our financial situation has been since I became a stay-at-home Mom. And if you're wondering to yourself about why I didn't just go back to work full-time before now, I'm getting to that.

Needless to say, being this vulnerable and out of control of our finances was just about the shittiest feeling in the world. It was making us anxious, and angry, and upset (and definitely didn't help the difficult season of marriage we had found ourselves in). I started reading more about personal finance, I religiously planned our grocery list to save as much money as possible, I budgeted like crazy. Not only out of necessity, but because I was finding myself genuinely enjoying it. I hated feeling like I wasn't in control of our family's financial situation and I wanted to feel more knowledgeable of the financial industry in order to set our family on a path to security and stability.

As I was browsing job boards for new full-time opportunities, I stumbled upon a listing for a Financial Advisor Training program. Despite the fact that I had absolutely no experience in the finance industry, I had nothing to lose by applying, so I gave it a shot. To my surprise, my application made it through the first hurdle, I took some tests of my basic math and logic skills (which I still have no idea how I passed), I went through a phone interview with a recruiter which I nailed, and she then set me up with an in-person interview at the company's Cincinnati office.

I sat down at a table across from two managers in the training program and within about 60 seconds, it was obvious that this position would not be a good fit for me. However, I interviewed well and they really liked me so they referred me to another department for an entirely different position that was a perfect fit, given my professional experience. A few days later, I interviewed with another two managers and it was the best interview I've ever had. I had a natural rapport and chemistry with the managers, I truly felt I could do this job well and I could tell they loved me and would have hired me on the spot if they could. Unfortunately, the position for which I interviewed was filled by someone who already had the necessary licenses and I didn't get that job. But they informed me that as soon as a new position opened up, I could expect to receive a call.

For the next nine-ish months, they would call periodically to give me a status update or just to make sure I hadn't given up hope and was still interested. And for those nine months I didn't apply to a single other full-time job because I was so sure that this was the path I was meant to take. Finally in May, I went to another in-person interview and the next week, I got the call that they were offering me the position. It was heartbreaking to tell my friend that I was leaving my job in our two-person office and I fretted about when and how I would deliver the sad news. Despite the fact that she hated to lose me, she could not have been more supportive and I will be forever grateful to her for that.

I submitted my resignation and informed our Board of the news. Two weeks later, I arrived for my first day on the job. It's now been three weeks and I know undoubtedly that this job was worth the wait. I'm working with an amazingly kind and family-oriented team. I have amazing benefits (including a small childcare reimbursement!), a solid salary, and the opportunity to grow and increase my compensation. In addition to that, I'm learning a new language- finance and investment. I feel so empowered that the knowledge I'll gain from this new role will enable me to dig our family out of our crater of debt, start saving for our future, and give our kids opportunities that they wouldn't have otherwise.

From the outside looking in, it might seem confusing to a lot of people who know me that I completely switched industries- from nonprofit to finance. It's why I felt the need to explain our journey and why this job means so much to me because of what our family has been through together. So now, when people ask me about myself, I can happily say, "My name is Kaity and I work in finance" with the deepest of pride.

Have you ever changed industries before? What was it like for you?

Life Lately v6

Ahh, the ol' fallback life lately post. You know, for when you have this inexplicable need to document your entire life for the internet to see, but you're too busy with real life to find the time?

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed some changes happening. I'm mentally drafting a blog post on the journey that led me to my new role as a (once again) full-time working and commuting Mama Bear. However, the last few weeks have been literally nonstop and I'm just completely depleted of the mental energy that said post requires. So, in the meantime, you get this: 

What's been happening in my life lately...

ON THE NEW JOB...I officially had my last day of training today which feels great, albeit mildly terrifying. Thankfully the woman who I'm eventually replacing is at the office full-time and then part-time beginning in August. She's fantastic and such a great lady. I feel lucky that I get to follow in her footsteps. My other co-workers seem like genuinely kind, generous and warm people too and I couldn't be more thankful for that.

ON THE FARMERS' MARKET...Summer Farmers' Market season is back in full swing as of the first weekend in June! I'm co-managing for my second year and though it's sooo much work, I love it dearly. All our vendors are fantastic and I just love being involved in our community in this way. 

ON WEDDING SEASON...We attended the wedding of one of Chuck's high school buddies in May and then one of my college besties got married a few weeks ago. I love love and I love weddings. You can always count on me to be the first person on the dance floor, and the last one off of it. We had a little bit of a wedding dry spell the last few years, but our friends are getting hitched left and right this year and it's so much fun!

ON RUNNING...I'm still just chugging away. Not much has happened since my last running update and I still haven't registered for a race yet, because 1. My schedule is insane and I have no free weekends and 2. I still don't feel like I'm 100% ready. Maybe like, 85-90% there. I did, however, make the single best running discovery- Nike Tempo shorts. I always thought it strange how anyone would want those built-in mesh, underwear thingys they have in some running shorts and never wanted them for myself. I needed some more running shorts and there was a super good deal for the Nike shorts on WikiBuy, so I ordered them (not knowing they had the built-in mesh). Let me tell you- that mesh is a game-changer. Total overshare, but now I don't have to worry about my underwear riding up my butt or an overabundance of sweat in my lady area. They are the best!!!

ON THE BOYS...Somehow, Charlie is 3.5 this month and I've officially enrolled him in preschool for the Fall. I won't say I miss the baby stage, because I just adore watching this little boy turn into the man he's meant to be, but dang, time really does fly. Crosby's second birthday is approaching at the beginning of September. I've played with a couple ideas for his birthday party, but it's quite possible that we'll have another small little gathering at our local park like last year because life isn't going to be slowing down any time soon! 

Both boys have done so well with the transition to being with their childcare provider five days a week. Crosby full-on clings to me like a koala bear when we get home in the evening, but honestly, that's nothing new, so I think he's doing okay. Charlie has been wearing undies to daycare for the last few weeks which is a big step for him. Though he isn't officially night-trained, we've got a potty-using, soon-to-be preschooler on our hands!

ON CHUCK...As usual, my sweet husband is as steadfast as ever. Since my return to the working world, he's been put on morning/drop-off duty. I know it hasn't been easy on him, but he's been tackling it like a champ (even if the boys occasionally look like they dressed themselves in the dark. Haha!) He's had to become much more hands-on with the boys, in general, since both my jobs have been keeping me crazy busy. He's as supportive as they come, and I couldn't ask for a better partner in parenthood.

So tell me, what's new with you? What's on your Summer Bucket List?

This Unnatural Phenomenon Called Marriage

It's after 2:00 AM the night before my first day at a brand new job. As I've gotten older, I've become worse and worse at sleeping. It's my Mama Bear instincts. I can sense when everyone is safely home and tucked into their beds even while I'm virtually unconscious. As Chuck is a night owl and frequently stays up late into the night to binge-watch his latest show, this is problematic. I will not sleep restfully until he is in bed. The flip side of this is that I'm also a ridiculously light sleeper and I'm constantly awoken by Chuck's snoring when he is in bed. This is not even taking into account that 9 nights out of 10, one of our boys will awake in the weest hours of the morning. It's a wonder I can function at all.

That was an awfully verbose way of saying that although I should absolutely be asleep so that I'm well-rested for my first day on the job, I am wide awake and my brain won't allow me to resume sleeping until I put down the words that are circulating in my brain.

Hours ago, we arrived home from a very brief weekend trip to Philly to watch one of my best friends marry the love of her life. It was a wonderful, love-filled weekend with old friends and it gave me much to ruminate on about marriage, and obviously my relationship to the guy whose name I took nearly six years ago.

The last year has absolutely been the hardest one of our still-young marriage. We've been together for 7.5 years, so it's fair to say that our honeymoon phase is over. Parenting two young boys also added an entirely new dynamic to our relationship. My energy and attention has all but been completely consumed by those precocious little ginger-haired boys, and Chuck has far too often fallen to the bottom of my list of daily priorities.

We both recognize that we're in an exhausting season, and so giving each other a lot of grace has been the name of our game. But grace doesn't negate the fact that it's still hard. In the last year, the valleys of our marriage have revealed a lot about us as a couple, and have revealed to me, a lot about myself as a person and as a wife.

Anyone who has known Chuck his entire life knows that marriage and a family were always his endgame. This man was destined to be a husband and father. It was (and is) one of the things that made me fall for him. Marriage comes naturally to Chuck. Maybe not always easily, but always naturally. Me? Marriage comes neither naturally or easily. I am a perfect mess of independent, free-spirited and commitment-phobe.

Anyone who has known me for my entire life knows this to be true, as well. I don't try to be flakey, but I'm a head-in-the-clouds, dreamer who has a new life's goal and purpose every other day. It's not that I don't want to commit to anything. It's that life is short and I want to do everything. I don't want to be tied down to one job, one location, one dream. I want to see and do it all! So while this gives me inspiration and motivation to never stop learning and exploring. It also can make me flakey, and if I'm being honest, a less-than-stellar partner.

A few months ago, after a particularly rough and disconnected winter, Chuck and I lay in bed until 2:00 or 3:00 AM discussing our issues and our plans to tackle them head-on. There was a lot of transformative and revealing things that were said and taken in over the course of that conversation, but the thing that stuck with me was the realization that I haven't been a team player. I launched into sob stories about how hard mothering has been and how I need to do A, B, and C to survive. I shared my wants, my needs, and my priorities. For every "I" and "me" I used, Chuck countered with an "us" and a "we." It floored me that we have been married going on six years and I was only now discovering this about myself. Independent and self-sufficient are not inherently bad qualities. But I haven't simply been independent in our relationship. I've been really stinkin' selfish.

Fortunately, for me, I married just about the most selfless person I've ever known. And so, Chuck has been teaching me what it means to do what is right not for you, but for your marriage. He has been teaching me to shift my thinking from "me" to "we." He is teaching me to dig in my heels when the going gets tough. He is teaching me that while there is beauty in newness and adventure, there is also beauty in commitment and steadfastness.

I haven't loved Chuck the way he deserves to be loved in the last year. But I'm a work in progress. And thankfully, I have the best partner, best friend, and best teacher to help guide me through this unnatural phenomenon called marriage.