Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Mommy Brain: How Being Tired Can Make You Do Really Stupid Shit


Today we're going to take a short break from the usual schedule of baby milestones and bookworminess to address a very serious issue.

THE FACT THAT I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN MONTHS.



To all the Moms who've come before me, I apologize. My first baby slept through the night at eight weeks. And I got cocky. Shame on me because Baby #2? Wakes up approximately every 2 hours to nurse. For anyone who has not experienced this level of sleep deprivation, it is impossible to convey how truly fucking stupid you become when you haven't gotten a full night of sleep in over a year. Because, oh yeah, it's not like I was getting any sleep waking up to pee every hour while I was pregnant!

Allow me to demonstrate.

Once upon a time (as in yesterday), upon opening the mail, I received a letter from the auto loan company that financed my vehicle. This letter was sent on December 13 and stated that if I didn't make the necessary payment, collective action could be taken on my car. The deadline for said payment was December 19. December 19 was TODAY. I promptly began freaking out about how I was going to pay this unexpected expense off. Since we have begun operating on a zero-based budget, the only money we had in our checking account was what we planned to use to fund our trip up North to visit my family for Christmas.

I loaded up the kiddos (and replaced Crosby's binky approximately 14 times before departing) and headed to the bank where we have our savings account. I withdrew a small amount to apply to the payment and then drove to our main bank to deposit it. I realized that even with the additional deposit, there was no way that I would be able to make the payment without dipping into our allocated trip dollars. The only thing I could think to do was to use that money and depart a day later than we had planned so that we would be leaving on Chuck's pay day and would have the necessary funds available then. I called Chuck in a panic and then called my Mom to deliver the news that we would be arriving later than planned.

I then proceeded to call the loan company to make our payment (split between two different cards. Embarrassing). When the customer service rep asked how much I wanted to put on the first card, he paused confusedly when I reported the amount. He asked again how much I wanted to put on the first card, and I repeated. He then asked me how much I thought I owed to which I told him the amount on the letter I had received. To best display what happened next here's a timeline:
December 13- Loan company sends letter
December 14- I drive to my local credit union to make payment
December 19- Receive letter; Completely fucking forget that you already paid this bill and freak the fuck out

Upon realizing my mistake and feeling like a complete buffoon, I paid next month's bill and hung up the phone embarrassed. I then proceeded to call Chuck and my Mom again to let them know "Hey, just kidding about that whole postponing our trip thing. As it turns out, my car is not going to get repossessed because I'm a fucking moron." It was during said phone calls that I then realized my debit card was not in my wallet, nor in my car, nor anywhere at all to be found. Because yeah, I left it in the FUCKING ATM. I then drove to my bank and proceeded to ask the teller if anyone had found a debit card in the ATM with my head hung in shame. After presenting my ID, I got my card back with no harm done (except the massive bruise to my ego).

The babies and I returned home, ordered pizza, and watched Elf for the rest of the night while I waved the white flag of surrender.

Moral of the story: Sleep deprivation sucks. And also, it makes you really fucking stupid.



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