Monday, January 6, 2014

Sticks and Stones


Well, it looks like I've finally arrived as a blogger. I have my first "hater."

I'm really trying to have a sense of humor about this, but the fact is, I am so shocked and honestly, really hurt.

As I was obsessively checking my stats and comments- which I do frequently, I noticed one of my high traffic sources was from a website called "Get Off My Internets." Curious, I clicked the link.

Much to my horror, I found that someone in cyberspace had written a comment about my blog under the "'Nobody' Blogs that Annoy You" category. I really shouldn't have read it seeing as it already sucked to be labeled a "nobody" as well as "annoying." But I did. Here's what my hater had to say:


I literally felt sick to my stomach reading this. You know, sticks and stones and all that stuff.

But I'm posting because I'm hoping to address some of these apparent contradictions. I'm a work in progress, for sure, but it sucks to be called out like this rather than approached directly.

So to "myname," here's what I've got to say for myself:

1. I do not consider myself a religious person. But I do believe in the example of Jesus and I do want to model Him in my life. You're right- acting like a drunken ass is not glorifying Him in any sense. Which is why I have committed to giving up drinking which I talked about here

This is a much more accurate depiction of my life:
no makeup and jammies with my lazy butt on the couch.
If it looks like I'm posting a lot of pictures of drunken escapades it's simply because I'm not as prone to take pictures during my evenings when I'm home by myself. Watching back-to-back reruns of L.A. Ink doesn't exactly make for riveting blog material. My husband and I generally have a "party hardy" night with our friends about once a month. During these times, you can bet your bottom dollar I'm going to document my wee little social life. So I'm sorry if I led you to the impression that I'm some kind of party girl. I'm not. I'm also not a perfect disciple of Jesus Christ. But I'm working on it.

2. A few years ago I probably would have been as equally nauseated by someone publishing a "16 Months as Mrs." post. I had been abused by a man who was supposed to be a father figure and had come to the conclusion that I was entirely unworthy of love. Every guy I met seemed to reinforce that idea and I had completely accepted the fact that I would never marry, let alone love a man. So imagine my surprise when I fell madly in love with a genuinely kind, gentle and good man. Yes, my bi-monthly marriage updates may seem a little obnoxious. But I'm not apologetic. I found the love of my life and am the happiest I have ever been. Even better, I finally feel like I deserve to be happy. Since my blog is a reflection of my life, I am sure as hell going to document my wonderful marriage.

3. I honestly didn't realize I talked about how "poor" I am so frequently. It hasn't been my aim to whine about my financial state. Rather, I recognize that a lot of people my age are going through the similar burden of graduating college with inordinate amounts of student loan debt. Money is a taboo topic of conversation and isn't talked about as much as I think it should be. It is my hope that by sharing our journey in paying off our debt and in general, figuring out how to responsibly handle our money that maybe, just maybe I might be able to be of some encouragement to someone in similar standing.

I realize I shouldn't give your hurtful comments more attention than they deserve, but because I felt I deserved an opportunity to defend myself against your anonymous words and because there is a small part of me that worries that your views might be shared by more than just yourself- here you go. I'm sad that you no longer enjoy reading my blog. But this is me, take it or leave it.

6 comments:

  1. Unfortunately there will always be haters. :( Sorry you were on the receiving end of it. I've been there and it definitely isn't fun... especially when you don't even know who it is that you should be addressing.

    Don't let it stop you from being you and blogging however you want to about whatever you want to. (I think it's great that you are giving up heavy drinking! Personal growth is a good thing!) The thing about blogging is that if someone doesn't want to read your blog they don't have to. And that's ok.

    A wise pastor once said "People don't treat you the way they do because of who YOU are. They treat you the way they do because of who THEY are."

    I noticed in the thing you posted about what your hater said it says "Snarking since..."
    I once wrote about blog post about snark... http://laurablogsagain.blogspot.com/2012/10/snark.html

    Hopefully this all blows over soon and who knows... maybe someone will click over and actually like your blog. :)

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  2. Man, this felt like a punch in the gut to me! I'm sorry you were the recipient of this guy's bitterness. You are a genuinely lovely person, Kaity and your honesty is rare. I know it's easier said than done, but blow it off, honey. His words are worthless. (I loved Laura's pastor's comment!). (p.s. I always post as Anonymous b/c I don't know how to do it the other way!). :) But, you know who I am.
    MS

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  3. Ugh! I can't believe there is even a sight like that. How dumb! I'm sorry, girl. That would have hurt me, too. What a bummer! :(

    "Snarking since October 2013" means this girl is actually LOOKING for a reason to not like certain bloggers.

    In your defense! :)
    1- How have i not noticed so many partying pics??? And aren't we all works in progress?
    2- Hahaha... i don't know that i have done a 16 months post but i LOVE my husband & am definitely mushy about it. And oh-well if people don't like it!! I mean, i have the BEST husband... he treats me wonderfully, we get along great, he is everything to me. There is enough negativity about marriage. I love that you are head over heels in love with your man! And i am sure many other readers do too.
    3- You do not always talk about how poor you are. I, personally, am poor - dirt poor, hahaha - so i probably would have picked up on that if you did. You do share a lot about Dave Ramsey principals, which i think is awesome.

    So there! :)

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  4. Unhappy people have so much unhappiness inside of them it comes spewing out everywhere.They can't help it, they are boiling inside. That person just barfed up a murky load of their own misery all over your blog. Ugh. I'm sure they are spewing their unhappiness in other places as well. Feel bad for them and glad for you. You are Dorothy at the Stuckert Family Christmas party in your pretty blue dress having fun with your friends and family. You are a walking contradiction because you are young and still figuring your stuff out. You drink, you don't drink. You do and then you regret. You are the jammied girl who does the party dishes even though it is your least favorite thing to. You are good. And your blog, and instagram, and all the internet stuff you do or we do, is not an accurate representation of who you really are. Your blog is good but your real self is even better. The ignorant poster has no clue.

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  5. You're human, and you're wonderful. That is such a disgusting website to even exist. How dare someone judge someone they don't even know!

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  6. Oooh, this makes me angry! You are wonderful and so is your blog! AND I have a HUGE problem with anyone criticizing someone for cherishing and appreciating their marriage. I looooove your monthly updates! And you do NOT talk about being poor too much!

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