7.26.2012

A Daddy-less Wedding Day

via
There won't be any pictures like this at my wedding.

Because my Daddy won't be there.

I haven't talked about my Dad on here in some time so I imagine there's a lot of people who don't know the whole story there. When I was 10, only a handful of months after my Mommy told me she and my Dad were getting a divorce, he suffered a massive stroke.

It left him a crippled shell of the Daddy who played us funny songs on his guitar, was the worst tickler you ever did meet and taught me how to ride my bike. He walked with a limp, couldn't say our names and was completely devoid of any distinguishable personality.

Fourteen years later, I invited him to my wedding and received a call from him saying he just couldn't make the trip.

I thought I would be okay with it. My Dad can be a pain in the ass. But as it turns out, it felt awful hearing my Daddy repeat over and over again "I'm sorry. Don't cry." Don't cry. The same words he spoke to me when I fell while rollerskating and skinned my knees. The twenty-something, almost-married lady in me tried to fight back the tears. But the buck-toothed, freckle-faced and wounded little girl in me won.

A girl is supposed to have her Daddy. To walk her down the aisle. To give her away. To share an emotional and heartfelt Father-Daughter dance with. 

I don't. 

And it's hard.

The silver lining is- I have a wonderful, supportive and amazing step-father to do all those things with and I am so blessed that he's a part of my life. 

But there will be a small part of me that will be tinged with sadness when I stare into the crowd at my wedding ceremony and wonder where my Daddy is.

7 comments:

  1. thank you for sharing kaity. i will be praying that your wedding day is filled with SO much JOY and peace and freedom that your heart will be filled to the brim! much love, katie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ashley@AllRoadsLeadtoHomeLoveJuly 27, 2012 at 3:06 PM

    I'm sorry that you have to go through the pain of not having your daddy walk you down the aisle. your step-father sounds like an amazing man and will more than fill those walking shoes for you. your wedding day will be what you make it. hoping for the best for you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can't imagine how hard that is for you. I'm sorry girl.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This was very well written. I did not have a daddy present at my wedding, either. & my step dad did a great job at filling in as well. :) Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ah I am sorry to hear that girl. I totally can see why that hurts :(

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dearest Best of the Kaities...all I can tell you is that THE Daddy of them All will be there with you on your wedding day. He is the one who will meet your every heart's desire. You have Kenny - a man who loves you dearly and you have Loren who thanks God for you every day for blessing his son. But, most importantly, you have God, the one Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be His name. He will sustain you. He will guide you. He will tuck your arm in His and walk you down that aisle with you dear Mommy who has loved you and nurtured you through the thick and thin. Continue to be thankful, honey. For in that, you will find peace. We are so thankful that you are a member of our family.
    MS

    ReplyDelete
  7. I wish there was a "like" button for MS' comment!

    ReplyDelete

CUSTOM BLOG DESIGN CREATED BY PRETTYWILDTHINGS