#WhyIMarch(ed)

This past weekend, I participated in the Women's March on Washington's sister march in Cincinnati. Obviously, I would have loved to be in DC where the action was, but with two little guys who need their Mama, it just wasn't realistic. So a couple of my friends and I piled into a minivan, I strapped Crosby to my chest and away we marched. The day before the march, the Facebook event said approximately 6,000 participants were expected. Obviously, there's no way to pinpoint an exact number, but some estimated shows appoximately 12,000-14,000 in attendance. My group and I were toward the front of the march and as we completed the 1.5 mile loop, some participants were only just starting. It was crazy! Nothing compared to the hundreds of thousands in DC, LA, and Chicago, but more than enough for me.

Although my husband expressed interest in attending, I was apprehensive about bringing Charlie and was glad I didn't. It was a LOT of people. That being said, it was the most harmonious, unified, and peaceful protest I've experienced. It was very family-friendly and I witnessed several other Mommies with their babies strapped to their chests, as well as a lot more men than I was anticipating. We stood in Washington Park and listened to several speakers representing organizations such as Planned Parenthood, Black Lives Matter, and the Cincinnati Islamic Center (as well as locally elected officials, an organization for disability rights, worker's rights and a few others that I'm forgetting). Once the march began, there were chants of "Love trumps hate" and "This is what democracy looks like." It filled me with such hope to be in solidarity which such a large group of people fighting for equality and justice in this country.

Prior to the event, people who were planning to march used the hashtag #WhyIMarch to explain their reasons for choosing to participate. I had my own reasons.

1. Because I am a sexual assault survivor who believes that no person should be victimized because of their gender.

2. Because I am raising two sweet boys who will be taught to fully understand what consent means.

3. Because I want to stand in solidarity with my Muslim sisters, my black sisters, my native sisters, and my Latina sisters who have been told that they don't belong. They do.

4. Because I want to protest an administration that openly discriminates against and objectifies half of the citizens it has sworn to protect.

5. Because I want to look back in 10, 20, 30+ years and know that I was on the right side of history.

6. Because I want to be an example for two impressionable children who will no longer be able to look up to the President as a model of decent, gracious, and kind behavior.

7. Because I believe that a woman's body belongs to her and her only.

It has since been reported that approximately 2.5 million people turned out worldwide for this event and I am so glad I can say that I was a part of this movement. However, I was also convicted by a friend who posted that this movement was primarily white women and it was now up to us to fight alongside women of color in their fight for equality.

Smashing the patriarchy is exhausting.

Did you march? What was your experience?

CROSBY | 4 Months

STAY-AT-HOME MOTHERHOOD

I already feel so much more comfortable and content in this role than I did a month ago. I have some professional projects and potential opportunities in the works, so fingers crossed that I can continue to use this brain for something other than figuring out how to switch between our DVD player and Amazon Fire Stick so that Charlie can watch Frozen for the umpteenth time.

BREASTFEEDING

No real change here. Crosby still wakes up 3-4 times/night to eat which is a bummer for someone who requires a full 8 hours to function in life. I read a little bit about sleep training, but the thing is- he doesn't have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, he's just always hungry! I wonder if it's because my breastmilk maybe isn't as fatty or calorie-laden as other women's? Is that a thing?

BABY FAT

I got down to my lowest weight since college and then the holidays happened. Now that they're over and done, we're back to not eating snacks and sweets. Couple that with chasing Crosby's older brother around and the weight is practically melting off! Haha

As for Crosby...

Those chubby thighs!!!

LIFE

It really is amazing how two babies can be so different. Charlie was pretty independent, even as a baby while Crosby quite literally wants to be held all the time. As someone whose love language is not physical touch, this has been tough for me. I want to be able to set him down to be productive and accomplish things around the house and he is not having it. I've finally resigned myself to the fact that I need to stop being the Mom I want to be, and start being the Mom Crosby needs me to be. Plus, I know there will come a day when he won't want my snugs. My days have become a lot less productive, but a lot more cuddle-filled and my sweet boy is happier for it.

MILESTONES

He rolled over!!! Another huge difference between the boys is that Crosby loves tummy time. He's constantly got his head up and looking around, so I've been putting him on our bed with a few toys and he loves it. He's also been chatting up a storm. The volume level in our home has increased significantly this month as he's started playing with his voice. 

STATS

He had his 4-month appointment on Friday where he weighed in at 14 lbs 10 oz. Size-wise, he's in the awkward stage of being too big for 3-month clothing and too small for 6-months so he's been wearing some combination of both. He's also in Size 2 diapers. I was trying to stretch the stock of Size 1's I had for as long as I could, but he has long outgrown them so we ended up donating the unused diapers to our local homeless shelter.

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Happy 4 months, Crosby Loren! Can't wait to see what surprises you have in store with us this month!

17 Goals for 2017

I admit, I am a New Years' resolution nay-sayer. My theory is this: if you can't resolve to do something at another time during the year, what makes you think you'll be successful on January 1? I think any goal worth committing to needs more motivation and incentive behind it than the beginning of a calendar year. Which I realize sounds completely cynical, but it's honest.

That being said, I do believe in goal-setting and there are things I'd like to see happen for myself in 2017. (Does that sound completely contradictory?)

PROFESSIONAL
Because although I am doing the SAHM thing, I'm still an ambitious person and strive to use this time to build skills and commit to projects and opportunities that I haven't had time for in the past.

1. Submit a grant proposal. This is also one of my 30 Before 30 goals. I've never done any grant writing in the past. However, the fact that I love to write and that I want to further my career in the nonprofit world makes this goal a no-brainer. What better way to combine my two passions than grant writing? I have some friends that work and volunteer for local non-profits, so I'm hoping to use those relationships to work my way in and do some volunteer grant writing to get some practice and build my portfolio. 
2. Continue working with my former employer. I'm not exactly sure what this will look like just yet. However, there was some discussion before I left of me doing some temporary work when a co-worker goes on medical leave. There also may be opportunities for me to do some consulting, so fingers crossed that this works out! 
3. Apply for Advocacy Corps. Advocacy Corps is a program of the Friends Committee on National Legislation. Although I have my degree in Political Science, I've never done any kind of lobbying or political organizing so this part-time role could be an amazing opportunity for me (if I get in!). I'm currently working on my application, so keep your fingers crossed!

READING
I already mentioned my reading goals for 2017, but for the sake of having them all in one place (and because I don't expect that people read every single one of my book posts...), here they are again.

1. Read 52 books in the year. This averages to a book a week, which is definitely a stretch, but I read 60 books in 2016 so I think I can pull it off.
2. Hit the pause button on reading challenges. I am hardcore addicted to reading challenges (as you may have noticed), but seeing that they caused me to read several books that I didn't enjoy has forced me to reevaluate. I like that they force me outside my reading comfort zone. But I also really don't see the point in reading books that I don't enjoy. I'm not swearing them off for good because they're great motivation to skip Netflix and opt for a book instead. But I want to focus on only reading books that I want to, and not because I feel obligated to. 

FINANCIAL
Now that our household is down to one income and I'm more closely monitoring our budgeting and spending, I want to get more serious about the financial goals that we've shrugged off the past few years.

1. Pay off a credit card. Obviously I would love if we could pay off more debt than just one credit card, but since money is tight, I would be content with just one less monthly bill to pay. 
2. Open up college savings accounts for the boys. I still haven't even opened one up for Charlie, so this should happen sooner rather than later. 

BLOGGING

I've long since given up on growing my blog. I don't have the know-how nor the desire to do all the work required to gain a huge following. That being said, I don't want to stop improving as a blogger, or writer so I do have some blogging goals.

1. Publish at least 3 posts per week. I really hope to become better at publishing content more regularly. When I was working full-time, I was lucky if I published a post a week. Now that I'm home all the time, I'll have more opportunity to write.
2. Have one of my DMB posts garner more than 1,000 pageviews. In July, I started writing for Dayton Moms Blog. In October, my post Why We Chose Not to Share Our Baby's Name received 971 pageviews- just shy of 1,000. I've absolutely loved writing for DMB. It's forced me to write more thoughtful content and I really do think it's helping me to improve as a writer. I would love to see DMB's readership continue to grow and for one of my posts to get at least 1,000 pageviews in a month!

HEALTH

Currently, I actually weigh less than my pre-pregnancy weight, but I'm not in great shape. I want to find a realistic way to balance getting my fitness on with the sheer exhaustion of keeping these humans of mine alive.

1. Do the splits. Yep, one hundred years ago I was a high school cheerleader who could do the splits. I now can't touch my toes. So that feels awesome. Setting a goal to do the splits feels like a tangible goal I can work toward that's more specific than "improve my flexibility."
2. Run 13 miles. Since we're pinching pennies, paying to run a half marathon doesn't rank on the top of my priorities (even though I would love to do one eventually). So if I can get back into good enough shape to run 13 miles independently, that would make me more than happy!
3. Hit my goal weight. I've been using my Fitbit to track my weight loss. Weight loss isn't as important to me as just generally being more toned and in better shape, but I wouldn't hate it if I could shed about five more pounds.

HOME

We've lived in our house for nearly a year and a half and it's ever so slowly coming together but there are a million and one things I'd like to do to make it more of a home. I have some really fun ideas (posts to come!). I'm doing things little by little as I have the time, and money for home improvement stuff and decor.

1. Convert basement into playroom. I have a really fun vision for our awkward semi-finished basement that involves chalkboard paint and foam flooring!
2. Finish painting and designing upstairs bedroom. So far, I've already removed an ugly light fixture and wallpaper border. I plan to remove some paneling, prime and paint all the walls, turn the fireplace into a chalkboard, and eventually install a window (because weirdly, there is no window in the room).
3. Plant a backyard garden. This past summer was the first summer in our house and I was hugely pregnant, so obviously that didn't happen. But I now feel like Charlie will be a perfect age to love getting dirty and watching our seeds turn into tomatoes, peppers, and onions. I can't wait!

MARRIAGE

After two kiddos, there is zero time for romance. Period. On our last anniversary date, both my hubby and I committed to one date night per month and haven't been great with you know, having a kid and all.

1. Go on monthly dates. The key here is getting out of the house. Because time spent together at home binge-watching The Office does not count as a date. This means there needs to be a change of location, I need to be wearing makeup, and it needs to be just the two of us.
2. Take a weekend getaway for our fifth anniversary. Every year we say we're going to get out of town to celebrate our anniversary, and without fail, every year as the day comes closer, we push it off and don't do it. Since 5 is a nice round number, it's happening!

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What are your goals for 2017?

My 2016 in Books (and 2017 Goals)

Last week, Kristen shared her Best (and worst) books of 2016 and I loved the format that she used to track her reading stats. So with her permission, I'm stealing borrowing her idea and looking at my 2016 in books:

Last year, I finished 66 total books - 6 cookbooks = 60 books read in 2016.

25% audiobooks (15)
27% ebooks (16)
48% hardcover & paperbacks (29)

I feel like the audiobook percentage is a little high because I borrowed The Chronicles of Narnia from my mother-in-law which is a 7-book series. I only listen to audiobooks in the car, but I just so happened to do a ton of driving this year (my hour-long work commute, driving across the state for site visits and trainings, and then a few long trips to visit family and friends on the East Coast). I've always been very opposed to e-books, up until this past year. I have the iPhone 6s Plus which is perfect for using my Kindle app. Between lots of late night feedings and the desire to review new books through NetGalley, I read an uncharacteristic amount of e-books this year. 

28% were male authors, 72% were female.

I pretty much stick to female authors the majority of the time. Partly because I intentionally seek out female authors, but mostly because I don't read a lot of male-heavy genres like thrillers, fantasy, mysteries, etc. Once again, I feel like this number is a little skewed by The Chronicles of Narnia (written by a man, C.S. Lewis). 

52% were from the library, 48% were pre-owned, borrowed from someone, or received through NetGalley. 
It's actually kind of crazy that my library percentage isn't higher because pretty much all books I read are through my local library. I would say The Chronicles of Narnia + all my NetGalley books for review are the reason for this.

33% were nonfiction.
I really enjoy celebrity memoirs (Amy Schumer, Trevor Noah, Kristin Chenoweth) and inspirational/Christian nonfiction (Shauna Niequist, Rachel Held Evans, Glennon Doyle Melton) so this category is pretty unsurprising. 

Star rating breakdown:
★★★★★- 23%
★★★★- 33%
★★★ - 31%
★★ - 11%
★ - 2% 

I do enjoy a good 4-star rating, but I have a ton more 1, 2, and 3 star ratings this year than I've had in prior years. I think this is because my standards are higher and I've gotten a bit more brutally honest when a book disappoints me. I also think it could be in part that I've participated in so many reading challenges this year. I read a lot of books that I would usually never choose or were in genres I don't prefer. I like broadening my horizons and reading outside my comfort zone, but I tend to rate books lower in genres I don't enjoy (duh). 

The first book I read: Library of Souls (Miss Peregrine's Peculiar Children #3) by Ransom Riggs
The last book I read: The Mothers by Brit Bennett

Longest book: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling 
Shortest book: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by J.K. Rowling

Favorites
I already posted my 10 Best Reads in 2016, but here's a quick rundown:

Cravings by Chrissy Teigen

A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans

Difficult Women by Roxane Gay

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah

Notorious RBG by Irin Carmon
The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo by Amy Schumer

The Royal We by Heather Cocks

Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld

Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton

             

Duds
The Wangs vs. the World by Jade Chang

Falling by Jane Green

Women are Scary by Melanie Dale

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With that in mind, I'm also setting some personal reading goals for 2017. 

My first goal is to read 52 books in the year. This averages to a book a week, which is definitely a stretch, but I read 60 books in 2016 so I think I can pull it off.

My second goal is to hit the pause button on reading challenges. I am hardcore addicted to reading challenges (as you may have noticed), but seeing that they caused me to read several books that I didn't enjoy has forced me to reevaluate. I like that they force me outside my reading comfort zone. But I also really don't see the point in reading books that I don't enjoy. I'm not swearing them off for good because they're great motivation to skip Netflix and opt for a book instead. But I want to focus on only reading books that I want to, and not because I feel obligated to. 

What are your 2017 reading goals?