8.29.2014

The Mixed Tape


BB King's Blues Club, Nashville- May 2011
If you were to take a ride with me, in our aging little blue Hyundai Accent, you'd probably notice the crumbs in the cupholders begging to be cleaned, or maybe you'd notice the file folder of work papers that always seems to be thoughtlessly thrown on the passenger seat. When it comes to music though, you'd see a mish-mash of CDs that would transport you back months, years and decades. You'd find some classics- Led Zeppelin, Crosby, Stills & Nash, and Motley Crue. You'd find some guilty pleasures- Relient K, Britney Spears, and Joan Osborne. You also might find a mixed CD entitled, "Happy 22nd Birthday, Boo!"

Pretend for a moment, that the last CD piqued your interest and you wanted to listen to a symphony of memories from a former life when my husband and I were dating and he was about to turn a whopping 22 years old. Because we were young and not-quite-officially-in-love, you would hit play only to greeted with a sappy, country song. I would be embarrassed by this particular choice of song, but would explain it away by telling you that this song, as well as 4 or 5 other tracks, were chosen as we were coming off a post-Nashville high and I was bound and determined to convert my beau to a country-music lover.

The track would abruptly change to a Jack's Mannequin song. It was (and is) one of my favorite bands and it was the first concert Chuck and I attended together just weeks prior to the aforementioned birthday. As I found an instrumental break in the song to pause my tone-deaf singing, I would tell you that my husband's passion for music was one of the traits that most attracted me to him, but watching him go bananas over the stellar piano-playing of one Andrew McMahon pretty much sealed the deal on our relationship.

You might be a little thrown off by the genre change when "Ready for Love" by Bad Company began to play. I would confess that I actually became stuck on this song in the weeks prior to meeting Chuck. I had arrived at a place where I was finally allowing myself to admit to God and myself that I wanted to fall in love. It sounds like a silly thing to say, but up until this point I had never really been honest with myself about the truest desires of my heart for fear I would never attain them. I genuinely believe that I had to open myself up to the possibility of love before God would introduce Chuck into my life. If I were feeling particularly brave, I also might admit that weeks into dating, after a night of drinking, Chuck and I may have recorded a video on my laptop of us singing this song together. I will go to my grave never having allowed another soul to witness the proof that this happened.

A terrible phone shot of us in front of Bob Marley's "single bed."
Things would get a little looser as the steel drums accompanying "Is This Love" by Bob Marley echoed throughout the vehicle. I would tell you that to this day, whenever this song comes on Chuck and I have to resist the opportunity to slow dance and serenade each other. I would reflect on how this track came full circle for us on our honeymoon in Jamaica when we got to see firsthand the "single bed" mentioned in the song. 

The CD would go on to play a few more embarrassingly sappy songs and as we arrived at our destination and turned off the car, I would probably try to conceal just how happy our trip down memory lane made me. I would suppress the urge to continue to recall the emotions of my naive and boy-crazy former self, but would end those minutes of nostalgia with the knowledge that Chuck's 22nd birthday was the first time we said "I love you." I would probably blink back tears, as I remembered how in love we felt during that time, but would laugh to myself, because those young and crazy kids had no idea just how much more they would grow to love each other in the years to come.


8.28.2014

Pregnancy Truths: Round 1


I should probably confess that thus far, I've had a really boring pregnancy. Believe me, I'm not complaining. Baby Pep has been taking it easy on his Mommy and I'm eternally grateful to this little bugger. 

That being said, there were certain things I had read or heard about and had come to expect. There have also been things that have taken me completely by surprise.

So for my first round of Pregnancy Truths, here are some fun things I've come to learn over the last 23 weeks...

Pregnancy Truth #1:
Your boobs will grow...but not at the same time.
Currently, my Hubby and I are affectionately calling this phenomenon, "monster boob." To a stranger on the street (and with a good bra), you'd never know. But believe me when I say, that my left boob looks like it could eat my right boob for a mid-afternoon snack.

Pregnancy Truth #2
Your "plumbing" will slow significantly.
Okay, let's call a spade, a spade, and be real here. It wasn't until recently that I discovered that I am not the only pregnant person in the world to experience this- in fact most women do, but it just isn't talked about. (For good reason). Anyhow, just as fair warning- should you get pregnant, you will be constipated and you will celebrate on those rare occasions when you have a regular BM.

Pregnancy Truth #3
Baby kicks are weird.
Right around the time I entered my second trimester, I began asking the warrior women who had gone before me what baby kicks feel like and how to differentiate them from my normal bodily functions. I was met with responses that I would experience a "fluttering" sensation or that baby's kicks would feel like "popcorn." Well, I am here to say- baloney! Baby kicks feel like exactly what they are- like you are being kicked from within by a tiny human. It is simultaneously super cool, super disconcerting and super weird. 


> > >

For my experienced Mamas- what surprised you about your first and second trimesters?

8.27.2014

23 Weeks


Baby Pep,

You're quickly becoming my little ninja baby! You've been kicking up a storm this week and I have to admit it's gotten a little bit distracting. It's hard to focus on work when I have a tiny human begging for my attention!

Your Daddy has been working hard from home to put in overtime so we can start saving for your arrival. Of course, saving is much less fun than spending. Which is what I did this weekend at Ikea! I bought a dresser for all your cute little boy clothes that your Daddy and I are excited to paint for your nursery. I also bought a couple rugs to add some color to our white-washed rental house to make it feel a little more homey. Aaand I bought your crib bedding for half price on Target.com. You can't beat $60 for a $120 bedding set! Mommy does love a good bargain.

That's the exciting stuff to report for this week. You've been making your Mama feel much more pregnant these days- there's definitely no denying this baby bump. I have to admit, there are days when this pregnancy is flying by, and days when it feels like I've already been pregnant forever. But I think it's a good thing I have four more months to adjust to your arrival, I start feeling a smidge more prepared every day :)

Love,
Mommy


8.26.2014

I Married a Gypsy Boy


I love my husband.

So much.

And if possible, since getting pregnant, I've grown to love him even more.

Being a whiny, hormonal lady has this miraculous way of bringing out your significant other's true colors. And boy, my man is shining brilliantly these days.

Unrelated, but my cute gypsy boy also plays the drums on occasion ;)
Take for instance our phone conversation this evening on my way home from work. I have a one hour commute, so I usually call him when I get off to occupy myself for a bit. Anywho, on this particular evening, I had spent my entire 10+ hour working day wearing a bra that I mistakenly thought my preggo monster boobs could still fit into. Did I mention the word, "mistaken?"

My back has been hurting me a lot these past couple weeks and today during my lunch break I realized I was sitting all slumped over which could perhaps be contributing to my sore back. I already have terrible posture as it is, but it seems like the combined weight of aforementioned monster boobs and my ever-growing belly continues to weigh me down.

Our conversation this evening was focused on this newly realized epiphany and went something like this:

Kaity: I'm like Quasimodo!
Chuck: But you're the prettiest Quasimodo in the whole world!
Kaity: And you're my Esmeralda!
Chuck: That's right, I'm your gypsy boy and I'll play my tambourine and shake my gold coins for you.

This guy cracks me up.

And everyday he somehow makes me love him more.

8.21.2014

22 Weeks


Baby Pep,

I read this blog post today over Coffee + Crumbs: A Letter to my Pre-Mom Self. And just like that, I welled up. Blame it on the hormones, as I've been prone to do the last few days. But it goes deeper than that. I don't know that I've always been resistant to change, or if I'm just growing increasingly crotchety and set in my ways in my old age. But I'm so scared of what's to come. Your Daddy and I spent some time this morning sorting through some secondhand baby clothes gifted to us by a co-worker. And as we oohed and ahhed over the adorable footie pajamas and sweater vests in our possession, I was haunted by this nagging feeling that I was just playing a part. Sure, the itty bitty baby socks were cute. But I can't for a second begin to imagine dressing someone in them. And not just someone, but my own flesh-and-blood son. A person whom I made and share DNA with. A person whom I'm supposed to love with a love I've never experienced before and do everything in my power to care for and protect.

It all just seems so foreign. I've never been a "kid" person. It's like I'm missing that instinctual good-with-kids gene that I've seen in so many of my friends and family. The one who derives joy from pushing them on a swing for hours on end. Or rushes to their aid when they fall down and scrape a knee. Usually in these situations, I look around panicked, for someone more qualified than myself to calm this upset child and squelch their hurts. 

Even your kicks seem like a physical manifestation and reminder of my inadequacy. Sure, there's a small part of me that derives reassurance from those little bumps inside my belly. The reminder being that you are still alive and developing. But more often then not, I find myself thinking, "Cut it out, kid! I'm trying to fall asleep, here." This can't be a normal reaction!

I'm concerned that by writing this, one day you will read this and feel like you were unwanted. And I wonder if it's appropriate of me to reveal these thoughts. But I guess I'm hoping that if I talk to you like I would a friend, or confidante, that maybe I can overcome this disconnect. I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe another Mama or future Mama can relate to these words and I'll feel not so alone. I'm hoping that by writing this today, I will look back months from now in all of my new Mom glory and smile knowingly at my Pre-Mom self and think, "Sweetie, you have no idea how good it's about to get."

Love,
Mommy


8.18.2014

Maternity Must-Haves


I've always been a little insecure about my figure (what girl hasn't?). I've got skinny arms and chicken legs, but my mid-section is wide and squishy. Everyone in my family carries their weight the same way I do: in our tummies. I never imagined this would turn out to be a blessing when I got pregnant!

My closet is filled with leggings upon leggings and flowy, babydoll dresses. So thankfully, I think I'll be able to stretch out my regular wardrobe for the majority of this pregnancy. But I have added a few maternity staples that I'm soo glad I invested in:

Clockwise:
1// ASOS Maternity- Exclusive Wrap Skater Dress in Heart Print- $23
2// Target- Maternity Short Sleeve Basic Tee- $15
3// Motherhood Maternity- Long Sleeve Side Ruched Maternity Sweater- $30
4// H&M- MAMA Treggings- $30
5// H&M- MAMA Leggings- $13

It's not always easy to find maternity wear that doesn't look so...maternal. But for just over $100 I managed to snag some essentials that are going to carry me through to the end! If you're looking for inexpensive, but cute maternity wear I would highly recommend H&M and ASOS. The dress above was originally $50 and I managed to snag it for half the price!

> > >

What have your favorite places to shop for maternity clothes been?

8.15.2014

Oh Hey, Friday | Because I Have Nothing to Write



Aren't link-ups a beautiful cure for writer's block?!

1 | Current read? Four: A Divergent Story Collection. Because who doesn't want to spend more time imagining Theo James sans-shirt? (You're welcome).

2 | Currently loving? My awesome co-worker who brought me in a huge bag of baby boy hand-me-downs. Yay, baby clothes! 


3 | Current need? A haircut. As evidenced by the photo above. It's probably been a year since my last and my layers are crying out for attention.

4 | Currently planning? A dinner date for our two year anniversary. How have I been married for almost two years...with a baby on the way?! Sometimes I feel like growing up is all about going through the motions while remaining a kid at heart. I'm just happy I married a fellow kid to play with for the rest of my days :)

Youngins.

5 | Currently feeling? Exhausted. Work has been crazier than usual lately and will likely continue to be through the end of the month. I love what I do and I'm so thankful to be busy rather than bored, but by the end of the workday, my brain is mush!

8.13.2014

21 Weeks


Baby Pep,

It's still sinking in- YOU'RE A BOY! Daddy and I have started seriously having the name discussion. I think we may have settled on one for you, but honestly, it seems too premature. I don't think I'll be ready to call you by name until we officially meet you. 

In other news, you've been kicking. A LOT. I started feeling you several weeks ago, but it was hard to differentiate your little movements from my regular digestion. Though it seems, in the last week you've been ready to make your presence known! I think I've felt you every single day since our ultrasound, mostly at night right around bedtime. It's such an odd sensation to feel like you're being kicked by a tiny human- I keep trying to get Daddy to feel them, but no luck yet. I guess he'll just have to wait until you're a bit bigger.

Daddy and I have also been hunkering down and getting into nesting mode. We spent all day Saturday cleaning your future home from top to bottom. And it felt so good! We've also been thinking more and more about your nursery. In fact, Mommy is planning an Ikea trip with the girls next weekend to get a head start! First thing on the list? A dresser to start storing your cute little clothes and diapers in.

I think that's the big stuff this week, baby. I'm loving watching you grow.

Love,
Mommy


8.08.2014

Allow Myself to Introduce...Myself


p/c

Wow, I'm throwing it way back with the Austin Powers reference. I figured it was about time that I publish a non-baby related post. (You're welcome). A few days ago, Natasha @ Hello! Happiness posted an Introduction/Refresher for new and old readers alike and I loved the format she chose. So today, I'm taking a page out of her book and giving you my own little refresher: 

Name: Kaitlyn, Kaity, Bee (to my husband)
Age: 26
Occupation: Non-Profit Program Coordinator. Basically, I try to help make fresh, healthy food accessible for low-income folks
Family: One teddy bear of a hubby and one baby boy on the way!

Hobbies: Blogging (of course!), reading, walking/hiking and jogging (when I'm not making a human), traveling
Favorite Music: A little bit of everything! Led Zeppelin, Crosby, Stills & Nash, Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Eminem, Ludacris, Brad Paisley, Miranda Lambert (I told you...everything.)
Favorite TV: Friends, Orange is the New Black, The Office, The Challenge (MTV), New Girl and pretty much any type of cooking show.
Favorite Movies: Almost Famous, Love Actually, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Favorite Reads: The Harry Potter series, To Kill a Mockingbird, A Walk Across the Sun, FanGirl, Love Does, and anything written by Roald Dahl


Five fun facts:
1. I have a huge crush on Michael Jordan.
2. I bungee jumped over the Nile River.
3. I can rap the entire The Eminem Show album.
4. I'm allergic to peach skin (weirdest allergy ever).
5. I once spent the night on the sidewalk outside the U.S. Supreme Court.

8.06.2014

19/20 Weeks (and Being a Boy Mom)


Baby Pep,

It's really a shame that your Mama can't be counted on to do something as simple as a weekly "bumpdate." Guess you should get used to that flightiness now- you've got a lifetime of it ahead of you! As I remember, 19 weeks was not all that exciting. But 20 weeks- phew! What a jam-packed few days it's been. On Friday, I made the 9+ hour drive to meet up with your Grandma in New Jersey. Your Great-Grandma had major surgery a couple months ago and is now in a nursing home recuperating. Although she could be doing better, she could be doing a lot worse so we're counting our blessings that she is still, for the most part, as sharp and sassy as ever. With your impending arrival, I wasn't sure how many more opportunities I'd have to visit so I took advantage of my 3-day weekend to spend some time with her. 

Your Grandma and I also partook in some retail therapy and she filled your Mama to the brim with some good, East Coast pizza and Mexican food. I bet you were loving that! I loved getting to spend some one-on-one time with your Grandma and she loved shopping for (gender neutral) baby clothes!

19 week selfie!
After a long, long 12 hour drive coming home on Sunday your Mama was beat. Daddy put me to bed and we woke up bright, early and excited for our 20-week ultrasound and midwife appointment. Since your Daddy wasn't able to make my first two appointments, his presence made everything a bit more exciting and surreal. We got to the medical center super early for our appointment, but they managed to get us right in for our ultrasound. The ultrasound room was much nicer than the first office I visited and our ultrasound tech couldn't have been nicer. She briefly went over some routine medical questions and then with a loud squirt my belly was covered in jelly and your cute little body was up on the screen. Because you were face down, we didn't get to see a clear shot of your face, but she was able to see your facial structure through the back of your skull; to which your Mama exclaimed, "S/he looks like Voldemort!" We burst out laughing and the ultrasound jiggled like crazy. 

Prior to getting started, Marsha (our tech) asked us if we wanted to know the gender- "YES!" we replied. We didn't have the patience to wait to find out- we wanted to know as soon as possible. As she guided the wand under your bum we got a nice, juicy shot of your goods. Before she even said it, I knew- you were a boy!!!

I couldn't believe it. Your Daddy was so excited, but I just remained in a state of shock. I was so sure you were going to be a girl. I thought it was fate- your Daddy would have been such a great little girl Daddy and I was so looking forward to naming you after your Great-Grandma. Although, I was excited, I still couldn't believe I was wrong! Eventually, the ultrasound came to a close and the tech assured us your development looked terrific and we had no reason to worry. We continued on to meet with our midwife where she listened to my blood pressure, your heartbeat and measured my belly growth. I also took the opportunity to pepper her with questions I had written down while reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth a couple weeks before.

After our appointment, we went out for a late breakfast and sent a message to all our family and friends with the news. We were overwhelmed by all the love we received and we spent the rest of the day just relaxing and basking in the glow of our extreme blessing.

However, I admit that it wasn't until I had the opportunity to sleep on this profound news that it really sunk in for me. Tuesday morning, as I made my usual hour drive into work, I spent some time ruminating on this new reality and I began to cry. Not just cry, hysterically sob. This whole time, I thought Chuck was meant to have a little girl, but as usual, God knew what was best for me and provided me this miraculous opportunity to be a boy mom. I know it sounds corny, and maybe a little exaggerated, but in that moment I felt so incredibly thankful and blessed.

During my most formative years, I lacked a strong father figure. My Daddy was and is not a bad man. Nor was a he a bad father, he was more of just an...absent father. My father got no joy out of life and while I know he did and continues to love me and my sister, the role of father was never one that fit him comfortably. My Mommy essentially raised us as a single parent, while my Daddy was good for a silly song played on his guitar or a round of playful tickling now and again. After they got divorced, my mom married someone who was a bad man. These two men left an impression on me and I've spent most of my life being completely distrusting of all men at my worst, and incredibly uncomfortable around men at my best.

But God knew my heart and allowed this beautiful new life to transform me. Where your Daddy began to repair my hurt and trust issues, your life is going to mean so much to me. The fact that I get to play a role in shaping you and turning you into a man that is worthy of trust is not lost on me. This enormous responsibility and overwhelming blessing left me in tears. Baby Pep, I am so excited to be your Mom. For the first time in this pregnancy, the reality finally hit me. Words cannot describe how much of a blessing you already are to me, baby boy.

I love you so much already.

Love,
Mommy

8.05.2014

We're Having a....


Well, according to the little poll on my sidebar, the majority of people think we'll be blessed with a sweet little girl. The next largest chunk thinks we'll be blessed with a snuggly little Ewok and rounding out third place is a bouncing baby boy!

Chuck and I are so excited to announce...

WE'RE HAVING AN EWOK!!!


p/c

Just kidding. Obviously. Although, we were a little dismayed to learn that a cuddly Ewok baby was not in our future.

However, we could not be more excited about the truth...


You guys. I'm so floored. I have so many thoughts and emotions about being a boy mom that I have to save them for another post, but holy cow-

WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!!

8.01.2014

Summer 2014 Reading Challenge: Check-In #2


You may remember me mentioning I'm participating in the 2014 Summer Reading Challenge over at Semi-Charmed Kind of Life. Back in April, I posted my Preliminary List and last month I posted my very first check-in. July has been a great reading month, and I'm happy to report on some great progress in the challenge. Fingers crossed I can make it to 200 points by the end of the summer!



I re-worked some of my categories to maximize my point-earning potential, so here are all of my reads thus far, with my July reads highlighted in red:

5 points: Freebie! Read any book that is at least 200 pages long.- Bumpology, Linda Geddes, (336 pages, 3 stars)-- Completed June 19, 2014

10: Read a book that was written before you were born.- Wifey [1978], Judy Blume, (288 pages, 4 stars)-- Completed July 23, 2014

10: Read a book from the children’s section of the library or bookstore.- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J.K. Rowling, (310 pages, 5 stars)-- Completed June 1, 2014

15 points: Read a book that is on The New York Times' Best Sellers List when you begin reading it.- The One and Only, Emily Giffin, (432 pages, 2 stars)-- Completed May 31, 2014

15 points: Read a book another blogger has already read for the challenge.- Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn, (422 pages, 4 stars)-- Completed July 10, 2014

20: Read a book with “son(s),” “daughter(s)” or “child(ren)” in the title.- Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, Ina May Gaskin, (348 pages, 5 stars)-- Completed July 21, 2014

20 points: Read a book that was/will be adapted to film in 2014.- This Is Where I Leave You, Jonathan Tropper, (352 pages, 4 stars)-- Completed June 29, 2014

25 points: Read a biography, autobiography or memoir.- Uganda Be Kidding Me, Chelsea Handler, (255 pages, 3 stars)-- Completed June 29, 2014

30 points: Read a pair of books with antonyms in the titles.-
Book #1: A Call to Action: Women, Religion, Violence and Power, Jimmy Carter, (224 pages, 4 stars)-- Completed July 14, 2014
Book #2: Stern Men, Elizabeth Gilbert, (304 pages, 4 stars)-- Completed July 27, 2014


PREVIOUS POINTS: 60
TOTAL POINTS: 145

> > >

Currently, I'm working my way through Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain for my book I couldn't get through the first time, as well as Landline by Rainbow Rowell. The latter won't count toward the challenge, but I just couldn't wait to read it!!!

What have your favorite summer reads been?

All images courtesy of Goodreads.com
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