12.31.2013

2013 in Review


Happy almost 2014 everyone!

Here is a glimpse into the last year of my wonderful, beautiful, joy-filled life...

January


I thought about Feminism and Gender Equality. I wrote a letter to my Former Single Self.

February



Chuck and I attended Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. I shared how my 21st Birthday changed my life. I talked about my feelings of inadequacy as a blogger.

March



I quit my second job. I wrote a love letter to my Mom. We graduated from FPU. I thought about Why We Marry. My Mommy and I saw Gary Allan in concert.

April



I received my First Fix! My college besties and I attended IJM's 2013 Global Prayer Gathering. We welcomed a new nephew into the family. I shared my heart for adoption. Chuck and I celebrated our birthdays.

May



I said goodbye to a wonderful man. My baby sister graduated from college. Chuck and I paid a visit to the Heinz History Center and Primanti Bros.

June



I received my third and fourth fixes. We canoodled at a Pittsburgh Pirates game. I talked about not talking to God and Life with 5 Dads. We attended my cousin Chris' wedding in New Jersey.

July



Chuck and I celebrated an epic Fourth of July. I confessed my racism.

August



My Daddy landed himself in the hospital. I felt like blogging was stealing my joy. My hubby guest posted on our first married year.

September


I celebrated my first wedding anniversary. I spilled the beans about my new job. I provided a glimpse into our new home!

October


I went to counseling. I shared our gorgeous One Year photoshoot. We said goodbye to Pittsburgh. I broke in my sewing machine and celebrated Halloween as Curious George, alongside my Man in the Yellow Hat.

November



I committed to my first NaNoWriMo. I made a Baby Bucket List. I celebrated finding a job I love! I had my first excursions to Jungle Jim's International Market in Cincinnati and the Columbus Zoo. I celebrated Thanksgiving/Pre-Christmas with my family in Upstate New York.

December



I shared my vulnerabilities. We attended a birthday toga party. I talked about my beliefs regarding homosexuality in the Old Testament and New Testament. The husband and I celebrated three years together. We celebrated Christmas with the Stuckerts!

> > >

It's weird reflecting back on this past year because I didn't realize how shitty things were at some points. We had major financial troubles, a good friend of mine was killed and my Dad was in the hospital. And yet, it wasn't as hard as it should have been. Chuck hs proven over and over again what an amazingly supportive husband he is. I am so grateful to this man for loving me the way he does. He is truly my rock and I don't know what I would do without him.

If I had to pick a word for 2013 it would be...blessed. There were hard times and really, really great times. But through it all, I was so incredibly blessed.

Happy New Year, everyone.
Let's resolve to love more this year!

12.27.2013

Cutting Out the Cocktails

 
 
No more drunkface for me!
The holidays in our neck of the woods are generally pretty alcohol-infused. I’ve never been much of a drinker, but have gotten into the habit of drinking like a fish when I’m with the in-laws. It’s a habit I’d really like to break. Social interaction doesn’t come completely naturally for me, so I enjoy having my inhibitions lowered and allowing my words to flow freely. But I don’t want that to be a crutch. I’d really like to be able to not be awkward and uncomfortable during sober socializing. I’d also really like not to have to rely on alcohol to take that shy, nervousness off.

Not only that, but having my speech flow freely is not always a great thing with me. I've said really rude, hurtful things when I've been under the influence. I'm a person that truly wants to radiate love onto people. I want everyone I meet to feel cared for. Obnoxiously calling someone a "douchebag" when they're in the next room is not exactly 'loving thy neighbor.'

So I’ve decided that after the new year, I’m cutting myself off. I don’t want to be the wet blanket of the group, but I’d hate to be an alcoholic even more.
 
No more getting sloppy. No more saying things I regret. And best of all, no more hangovers!
 
Also, I’m not preggers. And I feel the need to spell that out because I will inevitably be peppered with questioning for choosing to abstain… ;)


12.26.2013

Top Five in 2013


I saw Nadine and Helene post their Top 10 most popular posts of 2013 and obviously wanted to hop on that bandwagon. Unfortunately, because I'm technologically-challenged, I have no idea how to actually see my top 10 most popular posts. Instead, you get my top five favorite posts I've written in 2013. Enjoy!

How My 21st Birthday Changed My Life- February 12

My twenty-first birthday was a little atypical. There was no alcohol or nightclubs. But it was perhaps the most profound day of my life, and up until this year, I had never really talked about it.

Thursday Thoughts: Adoption- April 11

Adoption has always been something that weighs on my heart. I honestly never thought I would marry and had a life plan that I would adopt my first African baby by the time I was thirty. All of this was before I met Chuck of course, but my desire to adopt has not changed.

For Frankie- May 6

This year I lost a really good friend. It's been over 6 months since he was killed and it still doesn't seem real to me.


On (Not) Talking to God- June 19

This post kind of sums up my specific brand of spirituality. I don't consider myself to be a "religious" person. I do, however, have a strong faith in my Redeemer and in this post I talk about our relationship.

My Name is Kaity, and I'm a Racist- July 19

This was not an easy post to write, but an even harder post to publish. No one wants to admit the ugly things they know about themselves, but if we ever hope to improve and grow, we have to first acknowledge our brokenness. This post was me doing just that.

> > >

All of these posts lacked beautifully photographed pictures. None of them were even me oohing and ahhing over my adorable husband. But they were posts that were written from deep within. They exposed me and challenged me. I'm so grateful to have this forum for writing those kinds of posts, and even more blessed to have the wonderful reception and support from so many of you.

So, thank you, and have a blessed 2014!
 

12.23.2013

Three Years


Yet another classy shot of our Toga Party shenanigans.
Last week, Chuck and I "celebrated" three years together. Of course, by celebrated, I mean we watched Pocahontas in bed and fell asleep before 8:30 PM. Please don't envy our crazy life.

It's so frustrating writing about love. Everything sounds so cliche. But everything that is cliche is true!

Chuck is my best friend.

He is the wipe-awayer of my tears.

The giver of the world's best bear hugs.

He pushes me to be more outgoing.

And refuses to let me leave in the morning without kissing me goodbye.

There was a small, cynical part of me that assumed one day I would just grow tired of being around this big goofball all the time. Three years later, I can confidently say that if anything, I only miss being away from him more.

He is a wonderful husband and I truly do fall more in love with him each day.

Thank you for three of the happiest years of my life, Chuck. You are my everything.


12.20.2013

The Bible, Love and the Gays



Attraction is not a choice. I think we need to remember that. 

I have a friend. We’ll call her Anne. Anne has a best guy friend who has been in love with her for years. They share the same sense of humor, enjoy the same activities and the kicker? They even live together. Anne is completely exhausted of hearing friends and family tell her what a perfect couple they would make. Because she knows. She knows what a great guy he is, she knows how perfect they are for each other. But they aren’t together. Because despite all of their commonalities and despite the fact that everyone is rooting for those two crazy kids to get together, the spark just isn’t there. Anne isn’t attracted to him.


I didn’t choose to be attracted to Chuck. I just was. There are some things that can’t be helped.


I’m really trying not to be one more voice pushing my opinion about this “Duck Dynasty” controversy. But the fact remains, I don’t think anyone chooses who they’re attracted to, same or different sex.


And for those who use the Bible as their platform for speaking out about the ills of homosexuality, I have a bone to pick with you.


Leviticus 18:22 says,  “Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.” I’ll give you that. Leviticus 20:13 says, “If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.” I’ll give you that one, too.


But, in this same book of the Bible, we also see things like this:

Leviticus 5:7 says, “Anyone who cannot afford a lamb is to bring two doves or two young pigeons to the Lord as a penalty for their sin—one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering.
 
When is the last time you saw anyone repent for their sins by killing some pigeons??

Leviticus 7:22-25 says, “The Lord said to Moses, ‘Say to the Israelites: ‘Do not eat any of the fat of cattle, sheep or goats. The fat of an animal found dead or torn by wild animals may be used for any other purpose, but you must not eat it. 25 Anyone who eats the fat of an animal from which a food offering may be presented to the Lord must be cut off from their people.’”
 
I guess all you bacon lovers are screwed.


Don’t even get me started on how unlawful it is for a woman to go to Church when she’s on her period.


What I’m trying to say is this- if you believe that the Bible (in its entirety) is the inerrant, transcendent word of God, you cannot pick and choose which verses to live by or which verses to judge others based on. You also can’t pick and choose which verses you want to interpret literally and which to interpret metaphorically.


For me, I know this: I don’t believe that anyone chooses to be attracted to a man or a woman. I think you’re attracted to who you’re attracted to. As simple as that. I especially don’t think anyone in their right mind would choose to love someone knowing that it would make their life more difficult, that they would be discriminated against because of their love. I also don’t think I’m a heathen for going to Church on my period, or for having a side of bacon on Sunday mornings. The same way that I don’t think a devout, faithful lesbian couple is predestined for eternal damnation. I mean, come on!
 

Salvation is salvation. And if you believe in the message of Jesus, love is love. And above all else, it is the most important thing Christ asks of us: to love. Let’s just love as we’re commanded to, and let God handle the rest.

When You're Late



Last weekend's Toga Party. Clearly sober.
To provide some background, when I left my job at the Farm Service Agency over two months ago, I also left behind my insurance coverage until my new employer’s coverage kicked in. This meant Chuck and I were uninsured for about the entire month of November. This also meant that my $90 birth control prescription was no longer covered. Chuck and I were…careful in this regard.

 
But then I was late. And not just like a day or two late, but like, going on a week late. And the truth was, Chuck and I started to get excited. For someone who feels so woefully unprepared for motherhood, I started to think maybe I was. Or maybe, rather, I was as ready as I’ll ever be. We have a timeline in our heads of when we’d like to start “trying.” We have a bucket list of things to accomplish before that time comes. In every regard, we have a plan. But the thing about plans is, sometimes they don’t work out. And sometimes for a very good reason.

 
I don’t know what I’m trying to say with all of this. Except that when our time comes, we’re going to be terrified, ill-prepared, but very, very excited J

12.19.2013

Top 10 in 2013


I am thrilled to announce to you all that I officially won my 2013 GoodReads Reading Challenge. Last year, I set myself a totally lofty and unattainable goal of reading 100 books in 2012. Needless to say, that didn't happen. So I was much more modest in 2013 and decided I would be happy reading 25 books this year. Well, y'all- I did it!!!

To celebrate my triumph I thought it appropriate to share with you my Top 10 Books in 2013!


10. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini


Believe me when I tell you that you may need a strong stomach to read this book. With that being said, the writing is phenomenal, the story is so real and it truly gives the reader a vivid glimpse into the life of a young boy living in 1970's Afghanistan.
9. Insurgent (Divergent #2) by Veronica Roth

The second book in Roth's Divergent series is a must. The reader delves further into the roots of the faction system we were captivated by in the first book and we get to witness Tris and Tobias' relationship evolve. It's filled with the same action and intrigue that sucked us into the first book with a whole bunch of added mystery!


8. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin


Sometimes I can really be a stubborn, judgmental ass. Which is why for the first couple chapters of this book, I was determined not to like the author. I deemed her to be kind of privileged and unrelatable. But as the book went on I couldn't deny her observations were astute, nor that she was doling out really good advice. This is a terrific read for anyone who seeks to better themselves.


7. Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

There are not enough adjectives in the English language to adequately describe what a fantastic writer Adichie is. She's been described as our generation's Chinua Achebe and for good reason. This woman can write. If you're at all interested in sociology or anthropology, this novel about an African woman's observations of race in America is right up your alley.

6. Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan (aka: the Hot Pockets guy) is hilarious. He's that rare breed of comedian who doesn't feel the need to resort to vulgarity and offense in order to be funny. This book about being a husband and father of five legitimately had me laughing out loud, and I promptly made Chuck listen to the audiobook because it's an all-around win for men and women!

5. Divergent (Divergent #1) by Veronica Roth

If you loved The Hunger Games series, be prepared to get hooked, once again. This YA dystopian trilogy is one of those books you just can't put down. I won't go on about this one, because chances are you've heard all about it by now- so what are you waiting for?!

4. Carry On, Warrior by Glennon Melton

Momastery remains one of my favorite blogs. Every post of her is just dripping with lessons of love, acceptance and grace. So it follows, that Melton's memoir would be full of the same. She has a voice all her own and is such a little firecracker. Everyone stands to gain something from this heartwarming book.

3. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling

After listening to this audiobook, I can confidently say that I wish Mindy Kaling were my best friend. I loved hearing about Mindy's awkward years, her rise to fame and all her fun, quirky adventures in between. She is a genuine talent and an even more genuine hard-worker. She is a serious role model for young women which is hard to come by these days, and I adore her.

2. Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis

And speaking of female role models...Katie Davis' story is incredible. She is a woman who inspires, who loves and who exemplifies living as Jesus calls us to. At just 19 years old, Katie moved to Uganda to teach and wound up adopting 13 beautiful, young girls in need of a home. If you're looking for an encouraging, faith-filled read- go with this one.

1. Love Does by Bob Goff

And speaking of faith-filled reads...holy cow. I cannot begin to describe the awesomeness that is Bob Goff. Chuck and I had the opportunity to see him speak while we were still living in Pittsburgh and this man is a Godly man. He continually pours out love to everyone one he meets and his book inspires us all to believe that love can do great and powerful things. If you don't read any other book on this list, please read this one.

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All images courtesy of GoodReads.com


12.17.2013

The Christmas Gift Decline


This Christmas has been perhaps the most blatant display of boring grown-up gift giving that I have experienced in my 25 years on this planet. Year after year, it seems, the older I get, the lamer my Christmas gifts become. The sad part is, although they're lame, they're gifts that I genuinely want or need.

Allow me to explain.

A couple weeks ago my Mom emailed me at work to tell me she had made a payment toward my particularly gargantuan student loan. This payment was my main Christmas gift. Womp, womp, womp. The thing was, although it wasn't something I wanted, it was something my Mom knew I needed. Thus, lame Christmas present #1.

Enter lame Christmas present #2. My family decided to do our Christmas gift exchange over Thanksgiving weekend since it would be the only time we could all be together for the holidays. I opened up my sister's pink tissue papered-box to find a blouse. Albeit a very cute Express blouse. But my younger sister bought me a blouse because I told her I needed new work clothes. Womp, womp, womp.

Shortly after my cute work blouse, I opened up a sewing kit from my Mom. To accompany the sewing machine she had gifted me for my last birthday. Womp, womp, womp.

Today, after asking Chuck and I what we wanted for Christmas, I finally told my mother-in-law what Chuck and I had discussed last night. What we really wanted, more than anything in this world, was for someone to come help us clean our house. Womp. Womp. Womp.

I don't want to seem ungrateful at all. I am so thankful to my sister, to my Mom and to my Mom-in-Law for their thoughtful gifts. Because the thing is, each one of them bought something I genuinely needed. I just wish what I needed wasn't so...adult

p/c

I am 25, going on...75.

12.16.2013

SNOW DAY!


I woke up this morning feeling like complete and utter crud. Stuffed up nose, sore throat- the works. I think it's the universe's way of telling me than I am no longer 21 years old and cannot get away with partying on a Saturday night until the wee hours of the morning without some consequences.

I drug myself into the bathroom to prepare to head into work, got dressed, packed a lunch and was promptly greeted by a mess of snow and slippery roads. All the local schools are closed and the way I see it, although I blame the universe for making me feel like poo, I like to think it cut me some slack in delivering to me a...SNOW DAY!

So excuse me while I lay in bed, looking like a pathetic mess and frying my brain with non-stop episodes of The Carrie Diaries on Netflix.

Here's hoping your Monday looks better than mine! :)

12.09.2013

My Husband is Hotter than Me


Right around the time that Black Friday 2013 lured me into its depraved grasp, I also had the great misfortune of receiving the money from my retirement fund at my last job. So I did what any wise financial connoisseur would do- put it in savings. Ha! Almost had you, didn't I? Really though, I was wise enough not to squander all of it, but when ModCloth advertised 50% off, there was no way I was passing up the opportunity to expand my abysmal collection of work attire.

My much-awaited package was sitting on my doorstep on Saturday covered in snow and I was thrilled. This morning was the first day I got to show off one of my new ensembles and Hubby couldn't stop telling me how much he liked it. His minor compliment inflated my already unnecessarily large ego and I couldn't resist the urge to pretend to be a fashion blogger for 30 seconds.

But my efforts were in vain. For shortly after I snapped this superficial bathroom selfie, Chuck tried on the new Black Friday sweater I got him and totally stole my thunder.

Thusly driving home the point that my husband is way hotter than me. Derek Zoolander couldn't compete with this sexy smoulder ;)




12.05.2013

If Not for YOU, I Would Never Cook


I'll be honest, Chuck is probably more of a domestic goddess than I am. Perhaps it's laziness, or just my extreme disdain for dirty dishes, but I would make a terrible housewife. I hate doing dishes, there are always clothes scattered in our bedroom, but perhaps my biggest faux pas is that I never cook. I really don't mind cooking all that much, but we have such a small kitchen and I absolutely hate creating dirty dishes so I just don't. Which is problematic for multiple reasons:

1. It means Chuck and I resort to eating fast food, or whatever we can scrounge up at the convenience store for lunch.

2. Which means neither of us are eating all that healthfully.

3. We likely spend more money buying prepared food than if I just sucked it up and bought some dang groceries.

It takes a lot of motivation for me to actually tackle the whole cooking thing, but I can genuinely say it might not be possible if not for some of my favorite blogs.

Here are a handful of recipes I've made because of YOU!

Courtesy of Enjoy this Organic Life

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Courtesy of Gimme Some Oven

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Courtesy of Katie Did What

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Courtesy of Eat Yourself Skinny

p/c

So thank you, ladies, for helping me to become a better, healthier, me!

12.03.2013

The Weight of the World



Some days the whole committing-myself-to-one-person-for-the-rest-of-my-life thing still frightens me to my core. Not because I doubt Chuck’s faithfulness. But because I doubt my own. I have never been a fighter. I have been a “flighter”. I run from my problems until they go away. When I get sad, or depressed, I curl up into a little ball, blocking myself off from the world until I can summon up the energy to come up for air.

 
The man who calms my fears and decorates a mean Christmas tree.
It’s sick and unhealthy but it’s the only thing I know. And it’s particularly problematic because I’m a hyper-sensitive person. No, really. Sometimes the ugliness and sadness of the world literally leaves me feeling crushed. I hear stories of little girls being raped of their innocence and I feel physical pain in my heart. When I know a family member is hurting and suffering, I’m completely unable to be happy in my own life- no matter how perfect it may be.
 
 
And so Sunday night, I arrived home completely worn down from an 8-hour traffic-filled drive that allowed me way too much time with my thoughts. I was emotionally, mentally and physically broken. When Chuck got upset with me over something completely trivial, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I collapsed into a heap on the floor of our basement sobbing for nearly an hour. The suffering of my family in their own respective ways, the stress of drama with my in-laws and the never-ending stream of consciousness surrounding when I’ll ever be ready to be a mother just crushed me and I begged Chuck to leave me alone to my overwhelming sadness.

 
I don’t like to think of myself as someone who is overly dramatic. Rather, I think it stems from years of keeping everything bottled up inside. The trauma from living in an abusive home left me paralyzed and I refused to allow myself to experience any type of emotion for fear I would never ever recover. In college, my friends saw me as this unfeeling, unemotional robot. Which is not my personality at all. Chuck was the person that broke down my walls. And once he did, I just haven’t stopped feeling. It’s hard, but sometimes I feel like it’s essential. Someone needs to cry and hurt for the millions of people in this world, who are similarly unable to allow themselves to feel. Someone needs to carry the burden of this broken world- for it is the only way it will change.

 
So as I lay curled up, mascara streaming down my face on the cold, dirty cement floor- Chuck did leave me alone. For some time, and then, like he knows to, he came down and held me. He forced me to verbalize my pain and he talked me through it. I sobbed into his chest, leaving puddles of tears on his t-shirt. And then I returned his kindness and allowed him his opportunity to be similarly vulnerable and tell me his pain.

 
It’s times like these when I know we belong together. We are both such imperfect, flawed people. But we have found the one person who can look through the brokenness and just love on each other. I am indescribably thankful that God has blessed me with the person who is able to relieve some of the burden of carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

12.02.2013

That Time I Played Cards Against Humanity with my Parents...or Thanksgiving 2013


Thanksgiving weekend was filled with family bonding time, a long-lost lunch with my high school best friend, Whitney and my first ever Black Friday shopping experience. (My deduction? Totally not worth it.)

Oh yeah, and did I mention my sister and I introduced my Mom and step-dad to Cards Against Humanity? Suffice it to say that we're a very candid family so we honestly didn't think twice about laughing alongside our parentals at the cards that read "two midgets shitting in a bucket" and "my vagina." 

My mom was legitimately crying from laughter.

On Thursday I sat at home all day with my Mom watching home movies from when I was a wee one and it was the first year watching them, that I didn't get warm, fuzzy feelings of nostalgia. Rather, I started seeing all the minute details I hadn't noticed before. Mainly the fact, that my Mom and Dad never really seemed all that happy together. Which obviously, at 25 years old, I know now. But it's sad that my Mom was miserable for so long just for the sake of keeping our family together.

Me at two years old- cutest kid ever?

I've also realized just how different my sister and I are. Growing up, she was always my mini-me and there still remain aspects of our personalities that are eerily similar, but we've forged new lives for ourselves since moving out of our parents' home and it's changed us both in different ways. It's not sad really, just different and requires some getting used to on my part.


It made me think once again about the inevitable baby question. Things have grown so...adult in our family and I think we could all use a little childlike joy in our lives. 

So to sum up- Thanksgiving 2013 was wonderful and much-needed since I rarely have the opportunity to navigate the two-state distance between us. But it also made me reflect a lot on how much we've all grown up. And how stinking weird it feels to actually be a grown up. Anyone else feel that way??
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