One Year Later: My Hubby's Perspective

With Love from my Couch
By Charles A Stuckert

Ever since I can remember I wanted to get married and have children. I actually have a memory of sitting in the back seat of the car, on a hot summer day going to my mom's company picnic gazing out the window just thinking about how great it would be to have my own family. I would shout to my parents up front, and say, "Mom & dad, when I grow up I'm going to have a family just like you two, and I hope I marry someone just like you mom." I know it sounds like the cheesiest thing in the world, but I genuinely wanted that. Most kids my age at the time were dreaming of becoming astronauts, and firemen, or Spiderman.  

Watching my parents love each other the way they did was an inspiration to me. It was as if they'd accomplished everything they needed  to in life. Marriage has always had kind of a bad wrap. You know, the old ball and chain. "Once you get married you're done for dude." People have this notion that when you get married, you no longer have any freedom. I mean, I know there are tough times in married life. But, that's part of it. I credit my parents, again, for clearing up that perspective for me. 

 When I was growing up, my parents had to raise 5 children while trying to finish their college degrees, and maintain whatever job they could. They did an amazing job. Looking back, I remember being completely oblivious to the fact that my parents were on welfare. As I've grown up, I've talked to them about those days, when they had to raise 5 hooligans, and create a career of some sort. My mom said it was tough. But, she told me that if you keep your cool, love each other, work hard, and just give it to God, then everything will work out the way you want it to. Just appreciate the small things in life.

 After being married for the past year, Kaity and I have definitely had our ups and downs.  I would say our downs started as soon as we decided to start chipping away at our debt. When I first thought about this decision, I actually wasn't nervous at all. I was thinking to myself, "just keep your cool, work hard and give it to God. Everything will be fine." Kaity, on the other hand, was a little on the nervous side. So as the months went by, we paid our bills one paycheck at a time, and began to come to the realization that we weren't making  enough money to pay the bills, buy groceries, and put money into our savings. 

Instantly, I think "no big deal, I'll just get a second job, I'm bored when I come home anyway." Kaity's response was something more like, "AHHH!" As we discussed options on making ends meet, we both decided to get a second job. Kaity, a cashier job at a grocery store, and I found one working in a kitchen and serving food at a window factory. Random as all get out, right?  

Once we were both set up with our second jobs we were able to pay the bills, but that was just about it. So we had to work on a budget plan sitting down together, and discussing our finances which helped. It was important for us to communicate with each other, and come together like a team. So as more months went by, it became harder and harder to work that second job. Eventually, with the combination of driving 2 hours a day and then working a cash register, and  dealing with some grumpy customers, it became a little too much for Kaity to handle. I understood completely, because there's nothing more unbearable than my wife being unhappy, so I told her to quit.  


I ended up finding another second job at PNC Bank's call center in downtown Pittsburgh. It was not only paying more, but it was also really close. After awhile it became really difficult for me to continue working two jobs. I was cranky, stressed, fat, and I never saw my wife. This is when things got real, and I realized that I had to put this perspective I learned from my parents to use when all along I thought I had it figured out. It's the trying times like this that really become make or break for a married couple. Some people honestly can't handle it. But Kaity and I were made for each other. 

Even during the hardest of times we have a way of cheering one another up, making each other laugh, or just being thankful for the little things. Everything I had learned from my parents has come full circle for me. What started out as admiration towards my parents for being such an awesome team, wanting that, getting it, and then facing the real life issues that adults have to deal with everyday, all came together like the perfect equation. Today, I'm happier than ever being married to such an amazing woman. This last year has allowed me to grow into a more responsible man, a go-getter, and a person who loves his wife so much that he could explode. Kaitlyn Best Stuckert, I've had the most amazing year of my life, and I look forward to like a billion cagillion more ♥