Being True to Me

For as long as I can remember, I've been writing. For me, the term "self-expression" doesn't even begin to cover my relationship with the written word. Ask me to speak to the issues of world hunger and I can give you an awkward yet adequate response based on my studies thus far. Ask me to write about malnourished mothers and emaciated children and I'll have you abandoning your steaks and burgers in no time! Okay, this is probably untrue, but you get the point.

I began blogging prior to my semester abroad in Uganda over two years ago. I was fascinated by African culture and wanted to prove that I was the kind of girl who could live in a mud-hut for a week, master the "squatty potty" and ultimately live a life of simplicity and purpose. It was much harder than I imagined it to be, but for those four months, I became that girl. I also became a girl who was witnessing unimaginable poverty and hunger around me and felt sick at the thought of my own affluence in light of it. Upon my return home, I was going to do something about it.

February 2009: My host brother, Ephraim and I

I was fortunate enough to attend a Christian university that placed a high emphasis on social justice. I knew I was called to serve, but in what capacity I wasn't (and am not) fully aware of. Through a handful of internships and job experiences I learned that I am not cut out for a lot of positions. I am not detail-oriented, I'm not a leader and I have yet to learn how to handle stress. But damnit, I can write.

And it's for that reason, that this blog exists. I want people to read what I have to say. To be inspired by it. I picked up on the fact through examining the Blog-o-Sphere that those bloggers who seem to win "Most Popular" are devoted to marvelous Mommies, culinary queens and dazzling DIY-ers. While I admire these women and aspire to master my own tricks of the trade, it's not what I'm called to write about.

I took Jamie from the Inspire blog community up on her offer to provide some feedback for my blog. I think she picked up on the treachery I was inflicting upon myself in not writing about what matters to me. She was kind enough to leave me with this advice, "...you are a great writer. My biggest suggestion would be to find your voice as a writer. Don't blog about things you think will be popular, write about what you are passionate about. And if you are passionate about it, people are going to show up to read it!"

So with that said, I'll continue to enviously look upon the master craft-womanship of some of my fellow bloggers and steal a few recipes along the way, but in the long run, I'm going to be true to me.

September 2008: My truest self.

1 comment:

  1. I think that most bloggers or writers can relate to what you've addressed here. I think the online community is just so vast, that it can get easy to get lost in the shuffle.

    As for me, I feel into the trap of noting what other things were popular, and feeling like I had to hold myself to that standard. It's been a long journey to finding my own voice and humor, even if that's meant not always "being funny" or not always having something to talk about. Even if it meant (for me) not knowing how to do it myself, not being a mother or not having a cause to champion.

    But I applaud you for yours and for your passion. I hope you discover more about your voice every day.